


Take you away

by CrxwnJewels



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Online Dating, Online Romance, Online predator, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, mormor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:42:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4114300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrxwnJewels/pseuds/CrxwnJewels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only meant to be a bit of fun, a game. Never this far.. </p><p>Seven months ago Jim (16) and Sebastian met in an online chat room. Things seem to be going so well for them both, they speak every single day. Morning till night talking about pointless dribble to their deepest fears and secrets. there was just one problem. Sebastian was lying about his age. </p><p>Twenty eight years old pretending to be just eighteen.. </p><p>Sebastian has a choice to make when Jim takes a school trip to London in hopes of finally meeting his Sebastian. </p><p> <br/>E rated for later chapters.<br/>__________</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Wednesday March 3rd

 

 

**_[20:29] Jim Moriarty has logged in._ **

****

**_[21:35] Sebastian Moran has logged in._ **

 

 

 

[21:40] SM: hello you.

[21:40] JM: hi. I was beginning to think you disappeared on me.  
[21:40] JM: Where have you been?

[21:42] SM: You know how it is, busy with my new job.

[21:43] JM: Oh yes, in the sports shop? You still could of dropped me a message. How's it going anyway, the job?

[21:44] SM: Don't be like that.

[21:44] JM: I'm not.

[21:45] SM: it's going great by the way.

[21:45] JM: I'm glad.

[21:45] SM: Jimmy..

[21:46] JM: What?

[21:46] SM: I did miss you. :)

[21:47] JM: God you're a pain. I missed you too.

[21:47] SM: I noticed.  
[21:47] SM ;)

[21:48] JM: shut up.

[21:48] SM: make me.

[21:48] JM: You're annoying.

[21:49] SM: I know, that's why you love having me around so much.

[21:51] JM: You caught me there.  
[21:52] JM: I can't stay long tonight, dad's starting to cut the internet off by a certain time on the weekdays.

[21:53] SM: Really? What a prick! Things still bad then?

[21:53] JM: the worst.  
[21:54] JM: I want to just get away from it all Seb.  
[21:54] JM: Be somewhere I'm happy.  
[21:54] JM: with someone who makes me happy.

[21:55] SM: You will. I promise.

[21:56] JM: Save me?

[21:57] SM: I wish I could Jimmy, I really wish I could.

[21:58] JM: I wish you lived near me, or i lived near you.  
[21:58] JM: You're the only person in this whole world that gets me.

[21:59] SM: Good! Means you're stuck with me then.

[21:59] JM: Yep! Stuck together.

[22:00] SM: Like glue.

[22:01] JM: That would be a little messy..  
[22:03] JM: ..I have to go. Told you I couldn't stay long.

[22:04] SM: I'm sorry. I'll try get on tomorrow.

[22:05] JM: You better!

[22:06] SM: I will!  
[22:06] SM: Goodnight Jim.

[22:07] JM: Night Seb.  
[22:07] JM: x

 

 

**[22:10] Jim Moriarty has logged out.**

**[22:15] Sebastian Moran has logged out.**

 

___

 

 

Thursday March 4th

 

 

**_[08:01] Jim Moriarty has logged in._ **

 

 

[08:05] JM: Hey, just a quick message before school. Hope you have a good day Seb, you better be online later! God save me from this boring day ahead, speak to you later. x

 

 

**_[08:10] Jim Moriarty has logged out._ **

****

**_[15:29] Jim Moriarty has logged in._ **

 

 

[15:33] JM: Sebby?  
[15:40] JM: You said you'd try get on today.  
[16:01] JM: SEBASTIAN MORAN GET YOUR ARSE ONLINE NOW!  
[16:02] JM: Please.

 

 

**_[19:36] Sebastian has logged in._ **

 

 

[19:38] JM: where have you been?

[19:40] SM: I'm so sorry, work kept me late. No internet where I was.

[19:41] JM: Hm.. I'll let you off then.

[19:42] SM: You will. You love me.

[19:42] JM: Muppet.

[19:43] SM: How's your day been? Did you get through school?

[19:43] JM: Barely!  
[19:44] JM: But it's better now you're here.

[19:45] SM: Charmer.

[19:46] JM: I could charm you if I really wanted.

[19:46] SM: And do you?

[19:46] JM: Do I what?

[19:47] SM: Want to charm me?

[19:48] JM: isn't that much obvious..

[19:50] SM: Yes, but you shouldn't.

[19:51] JM: Tough, I do.  
[19:53] JM: Seb...?

[19:54] SM: Yeah?

[19:57] JM: I'm tired.

[19:58] SM: Go to bed then sweet.

[19:59] JM: I like when you give me cute names like that.

[20:00] SM: Good. I'll continue to do so.

[20:00] JM: Good.

 

 

**_[20:18] Jim Moriarty logged out._ **

****

**_[20:42] Jim Moriarty has logged in._ **

 

 

[20:43] SM: Where did you go?

[20:44] JM: Aw. Did you miss me?

[20:45] SM: Yeah. I thought I was in for a boring night without you.

[20:46] JM: You'd be lucky.  
[20:46] JM: You did tell me to go to bed..

[20:47] SM: I know I am.

[20:47] JM: Confidence will get you anywhere.

[20:48] SM: And every where..

[20:53] JM: Sebby?

[20:54] SM: and I like it when you call me that.

[20:54] JM: Cute.  
[20:55] JM: Read me some poetry like you used to.

[20:56] SM: Now?

[20:56] JM: Yes. I need it.

[21:08] SM: Sometimes a man’s mind and tongue  
seem disconnected.  
My mind realizes your wonderfulness,  
but my tongue might fail to tell you.  
Maybe, since my eyes and brain  
see how very obvious  
your lovely, endearing qualities are,  
my tongue thinks  
I don’t need to let you know.  
In case there is any doubt  
about what I am thinking and feeling,  
I am writing it down for you:  
I always think  
you are the prettiest, smartest,  
most wonderful, kindest,  
most loveable boy  
in all the world.  
I want to hug, kiss, love  
and adore you forever.  
Please try to have patience  
with the negligence of my tongue.  
I am working to keep it in the loop better.

[21:10] JM: Wow.  
[21:11] JM: I wish I knew what your voice sounded like so I could picture you saying it.

[21:12] SM: Maybe one day you will.

[21:13] JM: Did you..write it?

[21:15] SM: Afraid not. But I collect and keep them, this one made me think of you.

[21:17] JM: You think I'm the most prettiest, smartest, most wonderful and kindest?

[21:18] SM: Yes, definitely yes, yes and yes.

[21:20] JM: You're a big idiot.

[21:21] SM: Your big idiot it seems.

[21:24] JM: Why do you collect so many?

[21:26] SM: I like them.  
[21:26] SM: Great pieces of writing.  
[21:26] SM: Good way to expression your feelings.

[21:27] JM: You're not like most eighteen year olds, that's why I can stand you.

[21:28] SM: Oh flattery.

[21:31] JM: You want to hug and kiss me?

[21:32] SM: What?

[21:32] JM: The poem..

[21:34] SM: Oh right. Well, you are the prettiest after all.

[21:34] JM: Smooth.

[21:35] SM: As a baby's arse.

[21:36] JM: Why can't guys near me be more like you?

[21:37] SM: how so?

[21:39] JM: You're just this absolutely overly charming boy who makes me feel good about myself for a change, you go above and beyond to make smile and happy.  
[21:40] JM: So good that all I want to do is just kiss you and

[21:44] SM: And..?

[21:46] JM: Sebby.. I think.. I think I'm falling in love with you.

[21:50] SM: You haven't even met me..

[21:51] JM: I don't need to to know you're special.

[21:53] SM: ...Jim

[21:54] JM: What?  
[21:55] JM: I'm an idiot. Of course that would scare you away  
[21:55] JM: Why did I just say that?

[21:58] SM: I'm still here aren't I?

[21:59] JM: Find me another poem.

[22:01] SM: Demanding little thing aren't you?

[22:02] JM: Yes. ;P

[22:15] SM: I have so many things to say,  
but I cannot find my voice  
because you take my breath away.

I hope my eyes will speak my heart,  
as I wait in silence for you to notice  
that a craving soul has something to impart.

I am in turmoil awaiting your glance,  
yet again trying to appear normal  
while my heart flutters its loving dance.

I just have to wait another day  
and maybe then you will see me …  
until then I’ll try to keep my feelings at bay.

I desperately want to place you  
between the pages of my book,  
and keep you forever, I really do.

[22:17] JM: STOP IT!

[22:17] JM: Just stop it right now Sebastian.

[22:18] SM: What? What did I do?

[22:19] JM: You know, all these words in these poems.. Do you really mean them? Or do you just send them to be cute?

[22:20] SM: Yes.

[22:20] JM: Yes to what? I gave you options.

[22:21] SM: To the first.

[22:22] JM: You're a soppy guy.

[22:24] SM: I'm still yet to tell if that's a good or bad thing.

[22:25] JM: Good.  
[22:25] JM: Very good.

[22:26] SM: :)

[22:28] JM: I have to go.. But it's Friday tomorrow I'll be on later.

[22:29] SM: I look forward to it, Jimmy boy.  
[22:29] SM: Goodnight. X

[22:30] JM: Night Sebby. Xx

 

 

**_[22:32] Jim Moriarty has logged out._ **

****

**_[22:35] Sebastian Moran has logged out._ **

 

 

_____

 

 

Friday March 5th

 

 

**_[06:22] Sebastian Moran has logged in._ **

 

 

[06:25] SM: Morning.

 

 

**_[07:59] Jim Moriarty has logged in._ **

 

 

[08:00] JM: Morning. You're up early for a change.

[08:02] SM: cheeky. I couldn't sleep.

[08:03] JM: Aw poor baby.

[08:03] SM: Shut up! :P

[08:04] JM: I don't wanna go to school!

[08:05] SM: Just know I'm waiting for you when you come home :)

[08:05] JM: Sebby

[08:06] SM: Jimmy.

[08:06] JM: You're lucky you've finished school and only work a few days a week.

[08:07] SM: Perhaps, but I done my time.

[08:08] JM: Mhmm. I bet you were the super popular jock type. Weren't you?

[08:10] SM: I was just an average guy, why do you keep assuming that?

[08:11] JM: You just have one of those faces. Handsome.

[08:12] SM: Oh shush.

[08:12] JM: :P

[08:13] SM: Get to school!

[08:14] JM: Alright, alright I'm leaving.  
[08:14] JM: speak later, handsome ;D

[08:15] SM: School mister.

[08:15] JM: Yes sir.

[08:16] SM: What are you like.

[08:16] ;P x

 

 

**_[08:20] Jim Moriarty has logged out._ **

****

**_[15:34] Jim Moriarty has logged in._ **

 

 

[15:36] JM: I'm home!

[15:38] SM: Well hello.

[15:38] JM: How was your day?

[15:39] SM: Bearable. Home alone all day isn't very fun.

[15:40] JM: Aw, I'm here now don't worry.

[15:41] SM: Wonderful.

[15:41] JM: I am aren't i?

[15:42] SM: No arguments here.

[15:44] JM: You get me for whole weekend now.

[15:45] SM: You say practically every weekend.  
[15:45] SM: :P

[15:46] JM: No complaints though.

[15:46] SM: Never.

[15:50] JM: I have something exciting to tell you actually..

[15:52] SM: Oh? Do tell.

[15:55] JM: My school is taking a little trip..  
[15:55] JM: To London.  
[15:55] JM: I'll be able to finally meet you!  
[15:56] JM: isn't that exciting?

[16:04] SM: Oh wow.

[16:05] JM: aren't you excited? You don't sound it..

[16:07] SM: I am I am, it's just a shock.  
[16:07] SM: A good one.

[16:09] JM: Oh it'll be absolutely perfect! We'll spend all day together for the whole week I'm over for.

[16:15] SM: You'll have to stay with the class though, won't you?

[16:16] JM: No one will even realise I've gone.. I'm that invisible.

[16:18] SM: I'm sure they would. I would.

[16:21] JM: That's because you're the only one that sees me.

[16:22] SM: Jimmy.

[16:22] JM: Hm?

[16:25] SM: I really can't wait to meet you :)

[16:26] JM: Me neither, I'll be finally able to meet my soulmate. It'll be perfect.

[16:29] SM: Soulmate?

[16:30] JM: Yes.

[16:31] SM: You really believe that?

[16:31] JM: Of course I do you muppet!  
[16:32] JM: You're very special.

[16:35] SM: You're so sweet to me.. I'm afraid I might disappoint you or something. You put me on such a high shelf.

[16:36] JM: Never!  
[16:38] JM: Why would you ever think that Sebby?

[16:41] SM: I know I will, I won't be what you expect.

[16:42] JM: Sebastian Moran I will hug you so damn tight when we meet you'll forget about all your doubt.

[16:44] SM: I hope so.  
[16:44] SM: Because I do like you Jim, a lot.

[16:45] JM: Aww you goofball. You're everything I could of ever wanted.

[16:47] SM: Again, I hope so.

[16:48] JM: You are.

[16:52] SM: when are you coming? How long for?

[16:54] JM: Ages away yet, not till August.. Staying just one week.

[16:57] SM: August? When in August? That month'll be a whole year we'd of been speaking for!

[16:58] JM: I know.  
[16:59] JM: 16th - 22nd.  
[16:59] JM: I'll be with you on the day we actually started speaking!  
[16:59] JM: isn't that perfect?

[17:01] SM: And my birthday.

[17:02] JM: Sebby!!!

[17:03] SM: You're so sweet when you're excited.

[17:03] JM: I am, very.

[17:05] SM: Cutie.

[17:05] JM: Handsome!

[17:05] SM: adorable.

[17:06] JM: Gosh.

[17:07] SM: Ran out of words to describe me already?

[17:08] JM: I have too many words to describe you with.

[17:10] SM: Cute.

[17:11] JM: You used that one already.

[17:12] SM: Shut up.

[17:13] JM: hehehe.

[17:25] SM: Oh, by the way I'm sending out your birthday present on Monday or Tuesday. Just so you're aware and your dad doesn't open the box first.

[17:27] JM: Aw Sebby. I can't wait!

[17:28] SM: Mhmm, I hope you'll like it.

[17:29] JM: It's from you, of course I'll like it.  
[17:29] JM: You know me so well anyway.

[17:31] SM: I do my best.

[17:32] JM: You do.

[17:33] SM: :)  
[17:35] SM: You also can't open it till your birthday!  
[17:35] SM: Strict instructions.

[17:36] JM: Yes sir.

[17:37] SM: You stop that.

[17:37] JM: Why? Does it turn you on?  
[17:38] JM: Ayy? Naughty Sebby.

[17:39] SM: Easy.

[17:39] JM: ;)

 

__

__


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Jim birthday and Sebastian is a little sweet.

Terrible.

Sebastian felt absolutely terrible the more he spoke to Jim, they'd spent the whole weekend just speaking to one another again. The flirting had started to become a thing batted between the pair of them, Sebastian just couldn't seem to help himself.

Never was it meant to go this far, he was sending the boy birthday presents and planning to meet up in servals months for the first time. Sebastian was in way too deep now to turn back now, feelings had developed and the truth was he cared very much for Jim, more than he ever has for anyone he's been in a relationship with before.

 

Tuesday came and just like Sebastian predicted he sent off his parcel for Jim's birthday, just a few small things packed all into one box that he thought Jim would appreciate.

A box of Jim's favourite chocolates, a few poems Sebastian had collected over the months that had reminded him of Jim and a charm bracelet with all sorts of charms on it. Including serval little charms such as; a tiger, cat whiskers, an irish flag, a small little collections of stars, a London telephone box, a tie, Jim's name and Sebastian's initials.

The blond popped into the post office on his way to work to post it. No not in a sports shop like he'd told Jim but a businessman in a big fancy office, just a another little lie he'd said to Jim. The lying gave Sebastian the worst feeling in the pit of his stomach but it was the only way he could keep speaking to Jim.

Sebastian arrived at his office with a satisfied grin, he sat at his desk undisturbed just how he liked, his phone was out in his hand while he began scrolling through the pictures of Jim that the boy had sent him over the past months. Jim was sixteen years old, he shouldn't like this kid the way he does but he did. He never wanted to be one of those people.

It wasn't even like Sebastian was out of offers, both men and women would turn their heads just to look at him, those beautiful deep blue eyes with a dazzling smile to match, but no one ever stood out, no one ever grabbed Sebastian's attention like Jim had.

In was a lot more than a visual thing, clearly Jim was a very pretty boy but it was the way Jim made Sebastian feel when they spoke. Sebastian had tried countless times to just stop and distance himself from Jim, but at night when he gets lonely Sebastian would get waves of missing Jim so much that he'd have to speak to him.

It was a vicious circle, full of lies.

 

_____

 

Tuesday March 9th

 

 

**[12:19] Sebastian Moran has logged in.**

 

 

[12:34] SM: I posted your birthday present(s) off today!

 

 

**[15:47] Jim Moriarty has logged in.**

 

 

[15:50] JM: Sebby!! I can't wait to see what you got me!

[15:52] SM: Me too.  
[15:52] SM: I can't wait to see your reaction when you open it.

[15:54] JM: What's that suppose to mean?

[15:57] SM: That you'll like it?

[15:58] JM: I hope so.

[16:00] SM: Good.

[16:02] JM: You know me well, I know I would.

[16:03] SM: We shall soon see.

[16:07] JM: You do get a better birthday present than me though.

[16:09] SM: How so?

[16:10] JM: Because I'll be in London for your birthday.  
[16:11] JM: I'll actually be there with you won't i.  
[16:11] JM: Perfect.  
[16:12] JM: I already have a treat. ;D

[16:14] SM: I can't even begin to wonder what that might possibly be..

[16:15] JM: Mhmm ;)

 

Friday March 12th

 

[00:00] SM: Happy birthday, Jim.  
[00:01] SM: Today is the most special day of the year because it is the birthday of the most special person in the world! Have a wonderful day and treat yourself to the best because that is what you deserve! x

[00:03] JM: You're the best. The absolute best Sebby. Xxx  
[00:03] JM: Thank you so much for coming into my life.  
[00:04] JM: You've saved me.

[00:05] SM: You're welcome sweet. You've brightened mine up massively too, and don't you forget that!

[00:07] JM: Shall I open your present now?

[00:08] SM: Oh yes, do it now as you're away from your parents seeing.

[00:10] JM: Hmm Sebastian Moran what have you gotten me? :P

[00:11] SM: Open and see! :D

[00:12] JM: Getting it now, I put it under my bed.

[00:12] SM: Now I'm suddenly nervous, I really hope you like it.

[00:28] JM: Sebastian.

[00:29] SM: Finished the chocolates already then?

[00:34] JM: I'm half way through them. Shush. :P

[00:35] SM: So..?

[00:37] JM: ...  
[00:38] JM: I loved them. I'm just reading the poems.  
[00:38] JM: You're a wonderful wonderful boy!  
[00:39] JM: They're beautiful.  
[00:39] JM: I wish I could show you just how much i appreciate them. And everything else.

[00:41] SM: You're adorable.

[00:43] JM: And you're perfect.  
[00:43] JM: The bracelet with all the charms is absolutely gorgeous. I'm never taking it off now!

[00:44] SM: Did you like all the little charms on it too? :)

[00:47] JM: Yes! It was perfect Sebby. Everything was perfect!  
[00:47] JM: Adding your initials too was sweet.

[00:49] SM: Good I'm glad Jimmy boy, also I'll make sure I have loads of those chocolates in when you're here seeing as I know they're your favourites.

[00:50] JM: Are you going to be even more perfect in person?

[00:51] SM: Oh I don't know about that..

[00:51] JM: I do.

[00:52] SM: :)  
[00:53] SM: You should head to sleep now.

[00:54] JM: Trying to get rid of me?  
[00:54] JM: You also change the subject when I say something like that.

[00:55] SM: Oh shush you. I'm far from perfect that's why.

[00:56] JM: Make me ;D  
[00:56] JM: And You're perfect to me!

[00:57] SM: Then that's all that matters.

[00:57] JM: Awww.  
[00:57] JM: Sebby You're sweet.

[00:58] SM: So you keep saying darling.

[00:59] JM: And I will continue to.

[01:00] SM: Aw :) But we should head to bed now, the both of us.

[01:01] JM: Ok.  
[01:01] JM: Just make sure you're around all day with me tomorrow.  
[01:02] JM: Well today.

[01:03] SM: Of course. I wouldn't leave you on your birthday.

[01:04] JM: Thank you :)  
[01:04] JM: Night Sebby. Xx

[01:05] SM: Goodnight Jim, sleep well. x

 

 

**[01:07] Sebastian Moran has logged out.**

**[01:08] Jim Moriarty has logged out.**

 

__

 

Sebastian kept his word just like always, he stayed online with Jim for the whole of the boys birthday. Jim's parents didn't have no party or treat planned, he hadn't even gotten any presents, just a card and a hug from his mother.

Sebastian found it heartbreaking.

What Sebastian wouldn't do to be able to take Jim away and give the boy something to smile about in his life other than getting a text from him throughout the day.

One day, one day Sebastian would take Jim away and show him the world. Show him what real living felt like.

__

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor little Jimmy, his father can be a bit of a prick.

 

 

The past few months had been something special, as time grew nearer to Jim heading out to London the pair seemingly got closer, extremely close.

The cheesy lines and endless flirting was getting ridiculous for one.

Sebastian had never had love before, never felt this giddy or happy about a single persons existence in his life. If this was love, it was the greatest feeling in the world.

Love?

Sebastian was a bag of both excitement and nerves, was he really going to go through with the whole meeting up with Jim despite one quite important factor he hadn't told Jim the whole truth about? Even Sebastian wasn't sure what he was going to do yet.

He just didn't want to let Jim down. He sees how excited Jim is and his heart is almost fit to burst with love, he couldn't reck that.

That mention of love again?

Sebastian wasn't sure and was just as confused as ever the longer these feelings stayed and seemed to develop further into something.

Jim was sixteen years old and he'd never met him, how could Sebastian possibly like someone he'd never met let alone love them?

 

 

July 22nd had fell upon them, it was the day Jim broke up from school for the summer. Jim heading to London was just under four weeks away, by now you'd think they'd be extremely happy right? Wrong.

Jim wasn't ok, or that's what Sebastian thought anyway.

It was puzzling.

Jim hadn't spoken to him at all that day, he was suppose to have broken up from school then come straight back home to log online that day just like he always did, but today he had nothing.

Sebastian knew something was up the moment Jim wasn't online before 4pm.

Had his dad cut the internet off? Was he ill? Hurt? Online was the only way Sebastian could contact Jim, fear started to rise through his body with all the endless possibilities.

Sebastian left message all evening on the chat room voicing his concerns to Jim but got nothing back. Once midnight came Sebastian thought it was best if he would just head to sleep and hope for a reply in the morning now, it was all he could do after all.

 

___

 

Friday July 23rd

 

**[08:29] Sebastian has logged in.**

 

Nothing.

Sebastian stayed logged in all day and not a sign of Jim, he didn't want to panic in fear of it actually being nothing but him just simply being busy, but this wasn't normal.

Midnight came again and Sebastian's frustrations were getting the better of him, not one sign of Jim made the blond's chest ache.

A few hours turned into a day, days turned into a weekend and before Sebastian knew it a week had passed.

Sebastian tried to get back into his daily routines before he'd even started speaking to Jim, though he couldn't focus on anything, he needed to know that Jim was alright. He didn't care if Jim was getting cold feet now, he just needed to know that the boy was alive and safe.

 

 

Jim wasn't ok.

Sebastian was right to be worried and concerned.

That evening Jim broke up for the summer and hurried home with a massive smile on his face to get back and speak to Sebastian. Unfortunately his father was home, he was spread out along the couch as he had been all morning and afternoon, which definitely meant he'd been home drinking since he had got up.

Jim was always so quiet yet luck would have it today, this day where his father was spread out drunk on the couch was the day that Jim would accidentally knock something over with his bag in the kitchen.

“Shit." Jim muttered under his breath, quickly dropping to his knees to pick up the set of keys he seemed to have knocked off the table with his bag. Jim stood back up to his feet, sighing quietly as he hoped that sound wasn't loud enough to disturb his sleeping father.

Wrong. It was.

“Wha the fuck ya doin' in here hm?" His fathers words were sharp, almost like venom. Jim straightened up though that wouldn't change a thing, his father was mad and that only made Jim look even more innocent which certainly seemed to piss the older man off even more.

“Children like you deserve a good hidin'" fists were waved in front of Jim's face but no contact was made, for now.

Jim took a hold of his bag and rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs as quickly as he could, that was Jim's first mistake.

Loud footsteps could be heard coming up after Jim, the boy slammed his bedroom door shut just before falling to the ground, back pressed up against the door. What was he running from? How had things gotten this bad?

Jim wasn't a bad boy, hadn't shown any disobedience towards his mother or father. He just didn't get it, why did his father seem to hate him so much?

“Open up ya little shit!" His fathers fists were banging aggressively against the door causing the door to actually vibrate. Jim's body was shaking.

Jim wouldn't cry, wouldn't give his father that kind of satisfaction.

Slowly, Jim stood up to his feet and opened the door. The boy was practically knocked off his feet when his father came bolting in, he had Jim pinned on the bed in a matter of seconds, head face down in the mattress so hard that Jim couldn't breath. His legs were kicking just trying to cause some pain or impact to father for the older man to just get off of him, nothing seemed to work and that scared Jim.

Right there Jim was sure he was going to die, death by suffocation. Death by father. Even now, when he thought he really could die Jim's only thoughts were of Sebastian. The one guy who had stuck around long enough to actually get to know him, who actually liked him and wanted to talk to him.

What happened next was almost a blessing, someone finally looking down on the boy almost.

Jim's mother returned home from the shops. The sound of the front door had the older man jumping back away from Jim, his balance incredible unsteady as he tried to keep up right.

Jim's laptop was left open on his desk, his father caught sight of it and reached over to take hold of the device. “No more fucking internet for you boy!"

A slammed door and the sound of loud footsteps going down the stairs was the sign Jim needed to let him know he could lift his head up to breath and try get some air back into his lungs. His father was an absolute monster and if his mother hadn't walked through the door he knew just exactly what would of happened. Nothing was worth living like this, in fear.

Jim stayed in his room for the rest of the evening, his stomach growling with hunger but he didn't care. He felt nothing more than an empty shell right now, the worst part of it all was he couldn't say he was surprised. Jim always knew what his father was capable of, and now he can't even get any support from Sebastian.

If it wasn't for Sebastian Jim would of given up long ago.

 

 

A painful tedious week.

This wasn't how Jim wanted to start out his summer holidays, staying in his room all day while he was too scared to even leave his room in case of bumping into his father along the way. His mother would call Jim down for dinner each night but the boy would of course always refuse, that almost always ended up in his parents arguing over why Jim was acting this way. His mother was concerned, of course she was as any mother would be with their child refusing to eat, yet his father just brushed it off and accused her of being over dramatic. ‘He's just being a rebellious teen' is what Jim often heard, the man shouldn't of even been capable of having kids.

Luckily there was one place Jim had as a safe haven and today he'd finally scraped up enough money, he was going to use one of the computers in his local library.

Jim wasn't keen on the idea of signing into his private accounts on a public computer, what if someone took his information some how? Logged back in as him and would speak to Sebastian to try and ruin things? But despite all those doubts and concerns Jim still made up his mind, he had to speak to Sebastian, he had to it was killing him.

Three O'clock came, both of Jim's parents were out thank god. The boy pulled himself up and stood to his feet, smoothing down his shirt to get rid of any creases before putting on his jacket and found the spare key to use for his escape. He was going to get to speak to his Sebastian in a matter of minutes, excitement was definitely bubbling up inside Jim's stomach.

Jim wasn't sure how long his money would last for but even a few minutes was better than having nothing at all like he had had all of the previous week.

 

Monday August 2nd

 

**[15:16] Jim Moriarty has logged in.**

 

[15:17] SM: Oh thank god.  
[15:17] SM: Where the hell have you been?  
[15:18] SM: I've been going out of my mind with worry!

[15:18] JM: Not good.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim really can't catch a break, things going from bad to worse for the poor little lamb.

 

 

[15:19] SM: what do you mean not good?  
[15:19] SM: JIM!

[15:21] JM: My father.. He's a monster.

[15:21] SM: What's happened? Tell me.

[15:22] JM: ...  
[15:23] JM: I don't want to talk about it.

[15:23] SM: Did he hurt you?  
[15:27] SM: Jim..?  
[15:29] SM: Please, let me in. I've been going out of my mind here.

[15:30] JM: I thought about you everyday.

[15:30] SM: Oh Jimmy.

[15:31] JM: You were the only thing getting me through the week.

[15:32] SM: God I so wish you weren't so far away right now. I'd hold you so tight till you felt alright again.

[15:33] JM: That sounds nice.  
[15:33] JM: Just two more weeks Sebby.

[15:34] SM: Yep, not that long now hey?

[15:35] JM: I wish we could video chat.

[15:37] SM: You know I'm awfully camera shy.

[15:37] JM: I know I know. I can't anyway, I'm in the library right now..

[15:38] SM: The library?  
[15:38] SM: What are you doing there?  
[15:39] SM: What's up with your laptop?

[15:40] JM: What do you think? My dad took it!  
[15:41] JM: I don't even know if he's been on it and seen the messages, Sebby he will kill me if he does.

[15:42] SM: Jim don't say that.

[15:43] JM: It's the truth. If he found out I was gay he'd ring my neck. The man hates me.

[15:44] SM: I can't see anyone ever hating you.

[15:45] JM: There are plenty here.  
[15:45] JM: And hey! Stop being so sweet all the time, it's wonderful.

[15:46] SM: I'll bare that in mind ;D

[15:46] JM: You always do.

[15:47] SM: Always.

[15:48] JM: God it's so good to speak with you.

[15:50] SM: I missed you like crazy, I thought you just left me without saying goodbye.

[15:51] JM: Aw Seb!  
[15:51] JM: I missed you too.  
[15:52] JM: I'll never leave you either.  
[15:52] JM: NEVER! You're stuck with me.

[15:53] SM: Good! I wouldn't want it any other way.

[15:54] JM: How are you single? You're smooth as hell.

[15:55] SM: Clearly not everyone agrees.  
[15:56] SM: I'm glad anyway. I'm saved for someone special.

[15:57] JM: You think I'm something special?

[15:57] SM: Who says I meant you? ;)

[15:58] JM: Oh.

[15:58] SM: Of course I did you muppet.  
[15:59] SM: You're the best thing I've ever had.

[16:00] JM: I do love it when you go all soppy on me.

[16:01] SM: I know. You're a sweet delicate little thing really aren't you?

[16:02] JM: The sweetest.

[16:03] SM: No more sugar for you, you're already sweet enough.

[16:05] JM: Sebastian Moran, get away from me you are absolute cheese.

[16:06] SM: And crackers.

[16:06] JM: Stop!

[16:07] SM: Cheese and crackers really gets your goat hm?

[16:08] JM: God you're an idiot.

[16:09] SM: But a loveable one yes?

[16:10] JM: Yes.

[16:10] SM: Good.

[16:11] JM: Good.

[16:11] SM: Fine.

[16:11] JM: Fine :)  
[16:14] JM: I love you.

[16:15] SM: What?

[16:15] JM: We were repeating things, I thought you might say it back..  
[16:16] JM: My mistake.  
[16:17] JM: I take it back.

[16:18] SM: Jimmy.. Don't, don't do that.  
[16:19] SM: I know you meant it, you wouldn't say things if you didn't.

[16:20] JM: Then you just don't love me? That's worse.  
[16:21] JM: I should go...

[16:21] SM: Please don't.

[16:22] JM: If you don't feel that way for me I don't want to be wasting my time here.

[16:23] SM: Don't leave.  
[16:26] SM: I.. I don't want the first time I say those words to be online. You mean too much to me for me to not see your physical reaction to them.

[16:28] JM: Charmer.

[16:29] SM: We're ok aren't we?

[16:30] JM: I hope so Seb because I can't do this without you.

[16:31] SM: Hey! You'll always have me.  
[16:31] SM: I'll always protect you when ever I can..

[16:32] JM: I so just want to jump into the screen right now.

[16:33] SM: please don't, you might hurt yourself.

[16:34] JM: Oh god you are such cheese.

[16:35] SM: But you love it.

[16:35] JM: Very much.  
[16:35] JM: Just don't tell anyone.

[16:36] SM: I promise.

[16:37] JM: :)

[16:38] SM: I'm glad you're smiling again.

[16:38] JM: Because of you.

[16:39] SM: Adorable.

[16:40] JM: I have 5 minutes.

[16:40] SM: Oh?  
[16:41] SM: When will you be able to get back online?

[16:42] JM: I really don't know.. I have to save up. I'll try Sebby.  
[16:43] JM: Maybe ma will give me my laptop back?

[16:44] SM: I hope so!

[16:44] JM: Me too.  
[16:44] JM: Hopefully speak soon ok? I'll have to get on before London so we can arrange to meet!!  
[16:45] JM: Shit.. This is annoying. Bye. Sebby, speak soon. Xxx

 

**[16:45] Jim Moriarty has logged out.**

 

[16:45] SM: Oh yes, you will. Goodbye darling. X  
[16:46] SM: Shit.  
[16:46] SM: God you better get your laptop back soon.  
[16:47] SM: Xx

 

 

Jim watched as the screen in front of him went blank, signalling that his time had run out. €2 for 10 minutes. Jim had done well to save up enough to speak to Sebastian for just over an hour. At least it was something, to know Sebastian was missing him just as much as he was missing him.

Standing up from the chair he was sat in, Jim smiled to the librarian as he quickly and quietly made his way out of the library, feeling some what happier just from having that small conversation with Sebastian.

Oh to think they were just two weeks away from meeting, Jim couldn't stop smiling while walking down the street back home.

The small brunette could hardly wait to finally meet Sebastian, to know how the other spoke and laughed. To know and pick up on all his little habits and mannerisms that would go by unnoticed to someone who perhaps might see him everyday. Though the thing Jim was most looking forward to was the hugs, to be properly hugged by someone and it not feel forced like it so often did with his own mother.

Jim arrived back home to still an empty quiet house, that was a good sign, it was always a good sign when his parents were out. Jim locked the front door back up and placed the spare key back where he found it, heck his parents didn't even need to know he'd left the house.

Only.. That definitely wasn't the case at all. An empty house Jim thought, no one was home he thought. Both assumptions wrong.

Although he still thought he was alone Jim tiptoed his way up the stairs, quietly walking across the landing to his own room. Evenings had definitely gotten longer without being able to go on his laptop or speaking with Sebastian, it wasn't fair, he didn't know what he'd even done that day to have deserved his laptop taken off him.

An hour had passed before Jim left his bedroom, he took a short few steps into the bathroom. His small silhouette from the landing light following behind him. That's when he saw the sight.

Red.

Thick red blood covering the bathroom floor.

His mother lay dead in the middle of the pool of her own red liquid. Jim was sure he stopped breathing for a good 5 seconds behind backing away from the room while his body turned as white as a ghost.

His mother dead? It couldn't be, how? Why?

Jim had so many unanswered questions and the only answer seemed too obvious.

Jim's back hit the wall, that was all it took for the boy to crumble down to the ground, his usually small and light body now felt like the heaviest thing in the world.

His own mother, gone. It seemed impossible. Your mother is the one person you always expect to be around, she couldn't be gone she couldn't be.

 

 

An hour or so had passed, Jim had no idea of time though, understandably his mind was elsewhere. He hasn't taken his eyes off his mothers lifeless body, if only to torture himself more it seemed.

“Jim?"

Jim must of been so out of it that he hadn't even heard his father come through the door, the next thing Jim could hear was the sound of loud footsteps coming up the stairs. His heart rate growing faster and faster with each step.

His father showed no emotion or shock to the scene in front of him, that was all the confirmation Jim needed in answering his obvious question he sadly already knew before.

“Come on boy, get in your room. Don't make me have to do the same to you." The way the older man spoke was a joke, like a persons life's seemed so trivial like they were nothing.

Keeping his eyes on his mother, Jim couldn't dare turn away and leave her body with such a monster of a man. A monster that was his father.

“Fuck sake, UP!" Jim jumped at the sudden sound, staggering to his feet before his father had a chance to lay a finger on him.

“You stay in your room till I say you can come out alright?" Jim nodded quickly, taking one last look over to his mothers body before he did as he was told and locked himself into his bedroom until further notice from his father.

It was just a big, horrible and scary nightmare. It was a nightmare Jim so wished he could wake up from.

The sad reality was Jim often stayed awake for days on end just to get away from the nightmares in his sleep but now it seemed the nightmares were happening while he was awake too. The poor boy couldn't seem to escape this mess that happened to be his life.

Jim needed an escape, Sebastian was his escape, he needed Sebastian.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian makes a big gesture while comforting Jim.

 

 

Three days had gone by since his mothers passing, his eyes constantly sore and puffy from crying. Jim had only been out of his room to use the bathroom, he felt ever so weak for showing such emotion, his father had turned his mind into that sort of thinking. Speaking of, his father had hardly been home since that day either, though the boy definitely preferred that, he was better off alone than with a man like that.

Jim easily picked up on the routine, his father only returning home at a certain time very late at night before leaving early the next. The small brunette was sure he'd be safe enough if he dared to step foot out of his room in search of his laptop that his father had taken off him some weeks ago. He needed Sebastian.

And that's exactly what Jim did the next day.

Friday morning, the sound of birds tweeting outside the boys bedroom was almost a sound of mockery now. How could something sound so happy and cheery when everything else all round felt so miserable? The overwhelming pain was extraordinary, the most important person in your life just gone. The worst part was not even being able to say goodbye, that definitely hurt.

Jim sat up in bed slowly, his hands rubbing his eyes softly while the light was shining in bright through the curtains.

It was only 07:21am but Jim had heard his father stumble out the door first thing this morning, the boy could breath a sigh of relief knowing now he had the whole day to himself. First thing to do, get his laptop back!

Stepping into his parents bedroom was harder than Jim thought, to be in his mothers room with all her things still out neatly like she hadn't even gone, unbelievable.

Peering around the room, Jim's eyes couldn't help but settle on all the all day everyday items that his mother had used just days before.

None of this was right but he had to be brave, had to find that laptop before it was too late. Jim needed that support, needed to know someone cared that he wasn't completely alone or pointless still being here.

 

Under the bed. Of course it was, a place so obvious it was the only one his father could of ever thought of. Such a stupid simple minded man.

Jim would definitely be glad to see the back of him.

Once the laptop was located Jim tiptoed his way out of his parents room and back into his own, a small relieved little grin on his lips to have his laptop back in his hands. All the minutes and hours his little heart could want to talk to Sebastian with now.

 

Friday July 6th

 

 

**[08:12] Jim Moriarty has logged in.**

 

 

[08:14] JM: Guess who got their laptop back?  
[08:14] JM: Me! :)  
[08:14] JM: But that's not the news..  
[08:15] JM: Sebby please come online, I have something to tell you.

 

 

**[10:35] Sebastian Moran has logged in.**

 

 

[10:36] SM: Hey you, that's great to hear!  
[10:37] SM: Oh? What's up darling? Is everything alright?

[10:40] JM: No.. No Sebby.

[10:41] SM: Oh no what's up?

[10:44] JM: Seb...

[10:45] SM: Jimmy come on, you're scaring me now.

[10:47] JM: My ma.

[10:47] SM: Yeah, what about her?

[10:51] JM: She..  
[10:51] JM: Died.

[10:52] SM: Oh no Jimmy.. I'm sorry. God why am I not there to comfort you ay?

[10:53] JM: Geography.

[10:54] SM: Just ten days Jim, only ten.

[10:55] JM: It's already been three!!

[10:55] SM: Jim.  
[10:56] SM: I want to buy you your ticket to come over here earlier!

[10:58] JM: No Sebby you can't, the funeral is on the 14th. I can't miss it Seb, you understand right?

[10:59] SM: Oh Jim of course I do.  
[11:00] SM: You just hang in there though.  
[11:00] SM: I know how brave you can be.

[11:02] JM: No I'm not. I can't even stand up to my dad.

[11:03] SM: God I wish I was there, I'd knock that man into place.

[11:04] JM: My hero?  
[11:06] JM: But that would be pretty sweet. That'll really mess with his head, destroyed by an eighteen year old!  
[11:06] JM: Thanks.

[11:07] SM: Yeah, that would be something.

[11:10] JM: Seb?

[11:10] SM: Mhmm?

[11:10] JM: My 11:11 wish!  
[11:11] JM: For you to always be around and make me happy.

[11:12] SM: You are adorable.

[11:12] JM: I am not.

[11:13] SM: I bet when I tickle you you'll have the cutest laugh too.

[11:14] JM: I'm not ticklish. :P

[11:14] SM: Lair.  
[11:15] SM: I bet you are and you love it!

[11:16] JM: Well, you'll just have to see won't you?

[11:16] SM: Mhmm.

[11:21] JM: Thank you.

[11:22] SM: What for?

[11:22] JM: What do you mean what for?  
[11:23] JM: For being the most wonderful and sweetest person I know!

[11:24] SM: Hey, seeing you happy is all I want.

[11:25] JM: I will show you my appreciation soon.

[11:26] SM: Oh? Ohhh, Well now Jimmy boy.

[11:26] JM: Yes.

[11:27] SM: Now I can hardly wait.

[11:28] JM: I knew you'd be excited after you heard that.

[11:30] SM: ... Don't think that that's all I want.  
[11:31] SM: I like you for you, alright?

[11:32] JM: I know I know, but you're eighteen nearly nineteen. People expect things.

[11:33] SM: I don't. Just bring your charming self, the rest will follow.

[11:34] JM: I will be sure to do that.

[11:34] SM: Good boy.

[11:35] JM: I'm not a dog!

[11:36] SM: No, you're a more graceful animal than that.

[11:37] JM: Given it some thought have you?

[11:38] SM: I'll let you know when we meet ay?

[11:38] JM: 10 days!!

[11:39] SM: It doesn't seem real.  
[11:40] SM: You'll be here, with me.  
[11:40] SM: I'll be able to physically touch you, hug you.. When ever I think you need it.

[11:42] JM: I bet you can't.

[11:42] SM: Cheeky.

[11:48] JM: I haven't asked. How are you?

[11:50] SM: Don't worry about me darling, it's understandable after what you've been through.  
[11:51] SM: But I am good thank you. :)

[11:53] JM: The thought of seeing you is keeping me going, if I didn't have you I think I might crumble.

[11:54] SM: I'm glad I'm helping.

[11:55] JM: You always do.

[12:01] SM: Jim..?

[12:01] JM: Yeah?

[12:03] SM: For your mothers funeral, would you want me to come over?

[12:03] JM: What?  
[12:04] JM: You'd really do that?

[12:05] SM: I know you'll need all the support you can get. I wish I had someone as important as you when my grandad..died.

[12:07] JM: Oh Sebby. You know how much I wish I could turn back time.  
[12:09] JM: But we've never even met? Are you sure a funeral is the right place to meet for the first time?

[12:10] SM: I'm just thinking of you. I wanna be there for you, how ever you wish.

[12:12] JM: Then please come.

[12:12] SM: Yeah?

[12:13] JM: Yes :)

[12:14] SM: I'll be there for you Jimmy.

[12:14] JM: Thank you.  
[12:15] JM: Oh god I can't believe it.

[12:17] SM: I'll look at flights now and book them.

[12:18] JM: Aren't you going to ask your parents first?

[12:21] SM: I have my own money, plus it'll only be for a couple of days. They won't even notice if I say I'm saying at a mates.

[12:22] JM: Sly.

[12:23] SM: But not wrong. You're a mate, I just didn't tell them where. ;D  
[12:24] SM: Sorry, I'm coming for a funeral I shouldn't be happy.

[12:26] JM: it's ok. You really are amazing for doing this.

[12:27] SM: I try. :)

[12:29] JM: You do and it's absolutely adorable.

[12:30] SM: Adorable is what I was going for.

 

 

 

—

 

 

—

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is really doing this.

 

 

What the hell had Sebastian done?

Jim was in the early stages of grief and Sebastian has just gone and made it worse by suggestion they meet earlier, as if meeting the boy Sebastian had been lying to about his age wasn't enough the blond chooses to do so at Jim's mothers funeral.

Complete idiot.

Sebastian could always say his parents found out and stopped him from going? No, it seemed too pathetic because surely a parent of any loving child, if they had the money, would let them go comfort a friend in need.

Jim had no one but Sebastian, how doomed the poor brunette was Sebastian thought.

 

The date was set, the time was set and now the flights were booked, this was really happening Sebastian was really going over to Ireland and meeting Jim to support him through his mothers death.

It was now the 12th of July, Sebastian would be leaving for Ireland tomorrow morning, he'd settle into a nice hotel and meet Jim outside the church for Jim's mothers funeral the following day.

The last six days hadn't been easy, Sebastian had been in a battle with himself. Would he actually meet Jim? Would he reveal to the boy that he was really a twenty eight year old man or would he just simply shy away? Neither option seemed the thing to do, both ways would end up in tears.

Now with his suitcase packed, Sebastian logged onto his laptop for one final time before he and Jim should meet for the first time.

Butterflies

Butterflies is all Sebastian felt, right down into the pit of his stomach. There wasn't anything Sebastian could say that this feeling was like.

 

 

**[19:36] Sebastian Moran has logged in.**

 

 

[19:37] JM: SEBBY! :)

[19:38] SM: Hey you. I just finished packing.

[19:40] JM: That's good. All my uncles and aunties around, I thought I was going to collapse from boredom if you didn't come online soon.

[19:42] SM: They there for the funeral?

[19:43] JM: Yes.  
[19:44] JM: They're all telling stories of mum.  
[19:44] JM: it's hard to listen to you know?

[19:45] SM: Yeah, I know.  
[19:45] SM: I'm here now :)

[19:46] JM: You always are. My knight.

[19:47] SM: I'll be sure to bring my noble steed onto the plane with me tomorrow.

[19:49] JM: What time is your flight again?

[19:50] SM: 15:17. Not too bad at all.

[19:51] JM: That's good yes.

[19:53] SM: I wish we were meeting for the first time under difference circumstances.

[19:55] JM: Me too but I'm glad you're coming.  
[19:56] JM: I need you.

[19:57] SM: And I'll be there for you.

[19:58] JM: My knight.

[19:58] SM: Always.

[20:00] JM: Get some rest now.

[20:01] SM: Yes boss.

[20:01] JM: Hehe :P  
[20:02] JM: I like that.

[20:03] SM: I knew you would.

[20:05] JM: I'll see you on the 14th Sebby.

[20:06] SM: 10:15am at the church yeah?

[20:08] JM: Yep..  
[20:08] JM: Sweet dreams.

[20:09] SM: Sweet dreams Jimmy.

[20:10] JM: Xxx

 

 

**[20:18] Sebastian Moran has logged out.**

 

**[20:36] Jim Moriarty has logged out.**

 

 

An early night, that should definitely help Sebastian calm his nerves, God knows he needed it.

Sebastian lay in his bed that night just staring up at the ceiling, his mind couldn't very much seem to settle. All his mind could seem to focus on was everything that could go wrong and more. The blonds suit for the funeral was hung up on the wardrobe staring back at Sebastian in his bed, he let out a small huff before turning on his side to attempt to sleep. An early night.

 

 

It was 9am before Sebastian woke up again, God a good 11 hour sleep that certainly wasn't normal for the blond to have. He awoke with a grumble as soon as he opened his eyes, the sun shining brightly through his curtains that he was not fond of.

“Oh fucking hell what am I doing?" Sebastian spoke quietly to himself, laughing suddenly not quite believing that he was going through with this. With that thought Sebastian's alarm went off at 9:30am causing the blond to huff out in annoyance, now he really did have to get up.

Shower, dressed and then to the airport.

Sebastian was washed and dressed in a good ninety minutes, a personal best for the blond if he were being honest. Well he did like to look his best.

It had now just gone eleven, Sebastian made himself a quick mini fry up with eggs, bacon and two slices of toast. That would satisfy Sebastian now until he'd arrive at his hotel in Ireland, which would be around five thirty to six o'clock.

Passport. Euros. Boarding pass.

Check, check and check.

Sebastian placed his weekend bag into the boot of his car, just under an hours drive to the airport, Sebastian was more than ok with that.

Final security checks of his flat were done, he hopped into his car and pulled out of his driveway swiftly. He was now a step closer to Jim. Sebastian wasn't sure which feeling made him feel worse, the excitment or nerves.

 

The airport was manic but then that really wasn't anything new.

Sebastian had arrived just in time to check in and drop off his luggage, granted he only had a weekend case but he paid the extra for it so he wouldn't have to be carrying the case around till he had to board the plane for the next two hours.

“Thank you sir, enjoy your flight." Sebastian waved politely and made his way promptly to a bar. A drink was definitely needed for this one.

Security check, Sebastian had almost forgotten. He let out a huff of annoyance, he never enjoyed this part but then did anyone?

Shoes, belt and watch off.

Of course it still beeped, these security things never liked Sebastian. The worst part is the guy on duty at the time always seemed to be overly keen and enjoy himself feeling the blond up. Sorry, check for any hidden objects, Sebastian got confused with that fact too. Especially the way this man's hands were going today. “Yes my crotch is that big, thank you." Sebastian mumbled lowly with a roll of his eyes that earned him a few stares but that didn't seem to bother him.

Now, did someone mention a drink?

A drink slowly lead to two or three, he wasn't sure. The blond had lost count already but he was happily merry and that made him feel a lot more relaxed for the flight ahead.

 

“Flight number 012785 to Dublin at 15:17 is now boarding."

Sebastian instantly stood to his feet, a small smile on his face while he quickly made his way to his right gate number. Shit Heathrow was a hell of a lot bigger than he remembered.

The relief Sebastian felt as soon as he sat down on the plane in his seat was too much. He grinned with delight, he'd be seeing Jim tomorrow, that was a dangerous thought to have while he was this merry.

 

—

 

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's in Ireland. Sebastian and Jim meet for the first time, sort of.

 

 

The plane journey felt like a lifetime had passed, even though despite it only being just over an hour long. 

Sebastian waited till he was the last one to get off the plane, he wasn't keen on being in the big rush for the door which the blond never got because in reality they'd all arrive and be waiting for their luggage at the same time so what's the hurry for? 

Stepping a foot off the plane and all Sebastian could hear were a sea of Irish accents, Sebastian was doing his best not to just completely melt away. The Irish accent was the sexiest in all the world, supposedly. Sebastian lost his accent a long time ago, he was born in Dublin but moved to London when he was very little hence the rather heavy Londoner accent the blond now posesses. 

Walking through the corridors and following everyone else off the plane, Sebastian's timing could not have been more perfect, as soon as Sebastian stood in front of the luggage carousal his bag popped up in sight. He leaned forward and grabbed it with a sigh of relief after having not to wait at all for it. Sebastian smirked to himself as he walked away, just seeing all those people waiting who were in so much of a rush before hand. 

The next task was to find the exit and get the hell out of here, Sebastian was desperate for a cigarette by now and he could really use the fresh air too after being on a plane in an enclosed space with people he did not know. He'd also need to find a taxi rank, though that shouldn't be too difficult to spot outside an airport. 

It had just gone half four, less than 24 hours till he'd meet Jim God Sebastian's heart was almost beating out of his chest at that thought. Just under 18 hourss to be more exact. 

Sebastian trailed through the airport, following the signs to the exit with great excitment and relief as soon as he saw that door to get out, fresh air and a place to finally smoke. 

Jim was only an hour down the road, how crazy was that for someone who yesterday wasn't even in the same country as him? 

People seemed friendlier. More than five people had said hello to Sebastian since he'd walked out of the airport itself, perhaps he just has one of those faces. 

Once locating the smoking area, Sebastian dropped him bag down to the ground and lit up his cigarette, the first large inhale was very much needed. Sebastian breathed out in delight, God that felt good. He closed his eyes and lulled his head back until it was leant against the wall, heaven. Or a small part of it at least. Heaven would be he and Jim being happy together. Jim, a boy of seventeen being alright and wanting to be with someone who was nearly thirty. Twenty nine in three days. 

Dropping the bud to the ground and grinding it with his heel, Sebastian picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, his eyes scanning around trying to find a taxi. “Aha." Sebastian nodded, he spotted a taxi rank up ahead and slowly made his way up there. 

“Hey mate, you free? Thanks." Sebastian opened the door of the taxi up, he placed his bag down in the car and hopped inside with a sigh of relief as soon as he sat down. Sebastian gave the name of the hotel to the driver and sat back in comfort, his eyes looking out the window just watching the world go by. 

 

 

Sebastian must of been in a deep daydream whilst sat in the back of the taxi as the next thing the blond remembered was the driver calling him to get his attention to pay. “Sir. Sir, hello?" Sebastian rubbed at his eyes, apologising to the cabbie before digging into his pockets to throw a few notes over to him for the journey. Sebastian hopped out and swung his bag over his shoulder, he waved a hand out before heading inside to check in. 

Check in was a quick process, even with the flirting that came from the woman on reception didn't take up too much time. »I'm taken." Sebastian laughed, nervously raking a hand through his hair before he was given his room keycard. 

With a short thank you, Sebastian took the keycard and headed for the lift. 3rd floor. 

Once entered inside the room, Sebastian flopped himself down on the bed, it was fairly comfy he supposed. The room was nothing special, pretty basic with all the essentials you'd want or need in a hotel room. 

Sebastian wasn't here to be impressed by hotel decor though, he was here for Jim and he really could not wait to be there for himself tomorrow morning. On that thought, Sebastian unzipped his bag to hang up his suit for tomorrow. Just a usual black jacket and trousers with a crisp white shirt, finished with a navy coloured tie. 

“There we are." Sebastian muttered quietly to himself, he ran a hand down to suit that was now hung up with a small nod. 

Sleeping wasn't ever going to be an easy option tonight, which made Sebastian's decision to try and get to sleep earlier even more annoying. Sebastian just wanted to sleep and wake up for tomorrow as soon as he could. He was even rehearsing what he was going to say to Jim in his head over and over, though whether things ever play out the way you want them to is another story. 

 

It was the day before his mother's funeral and Jim was finding it difficult to distract himself for the day ahead, he was in two minds whether to go out and see if he could spot Sebastian. The blond wouldn't let Jim know what hotel he was staying at, which Jim couldn't help but find a little off but he didn't push it. Jim was content enough to believe Sebastian was here in Ireland, surely the blond wouldn't be that cruel and let him down, not at his mother's funeral. 

Jim stayed in his room for the entire night, his dad was just down the stairs with a small group of his mates so he was doing his very best to stay away. Jim hated having to have to hide away in his own home, your home was meant to be a place you feel safe in. 

Though to be honest Jim did feel safe at home, just when his dad wasn't home too. 

Like Sebastian had, Jim hung up his suit ready for the morning. He hadn't gone for the usual black, instead Jim's suit was a dark grey and cream coloured tie, and of course with that plain crisp white shirt. 

The night was going slowly, Jim hated when time seemed slow, so slow that it was like time had paused or even gone backwards. 

It wasn't until around 3am before Jim finally managed to sleep, his mind was racing as he tried to picture just how different, or similar Sebastian would be in real life to just having been speaking online. Jim would say it was difficult to get to sleep but he hardly ever slept as it was nowadays, no matter the occasion, event or time he had to be up the following morning. 

Jim dreamt of meeting Sebastian that night, no matter how cheesy or cliche that seemed, Jim slept with a smile on his face that night. Now all the brunette had to do was not set his hopes up too high on their meeting being that of a dream. Because it is never like that in real life. 

 

 

7:30am had never seemed so appealing. Today was the day Sebastian and Jim were finally going to meet, or so that was Sebastian's intentions at least. He just had to hope nothing would happen to make him back out at the last minute or something. 

A lie is still a lie after all, no matter how much you thought you may love someone. Trust is a hard thing to earn but I creibly easy to break. That was what Sebastian was most afraid of. 

Sebastian hit his alarm on snooze, actually he hit the snooze button serval times before he showed any signs of getting up out of the bed. Sebastian was one who loved his sleep. 

08:12am. Sebastian had about 90 minutes to get washed, dressed and fed before he'd have to leave his hotel and make his way down to the church where the funeral was being held. 

Sebastian stood in front of the full length mirror while he tried to struggle along with fixing his tie up properly, he got there eventually but it was a little bit of stress that the blond did not need at this moment in time. 

There we go, Sebastian was dressed and ready to go. He'd only had one slice of toast and half an apple but God, the blonds stomach was in flutters that he really didn't have the stomach for eating much this morning. With a shaky breath and timid footing, Sebastian grabbed his hotel keycard, phone and wallet as he headed out the room, the church was about a fifteen minute walk. Jim was only fifteen minutes away.

Fresh air. That was incredibly welcoming as Sebastian walked along the street, he shoved his hands into his pockets to keep them warm while walking. It was only 10am after all. 

Oh god there it was, Sebastian swallowed at the sight of the church came closer inti view. His pace slowing the nearer he got. 

The church was very big and grand, Sebastian had to lean his head right back as he walked along the street to see it all. God he knew he should of gotten a taxi down instead. Sebastian looked down the street and saw a fair few men and women dressed in black that you could clearly see were there for a funeral. 

Such fun. 

Being a bag of nerves wasn't the best emotion to have right now, Sebastian stood to the side hidden a little while he took out a cigarette and lit it up. That should calm him down, if only very slightly. Breathing in and out large intakes of nicotine were pulsing through his veins. God that felt good. 

Jim. 

Sebastian had spotted those dark beautiful brown eyes from a mile off. Suddenly Sebastian's palms were sweaty, his mouth run dry, no one had ever had quite the effect on him like Jim now. He was a mess he really didn't know what to do with himself, his eyes were darting all over the place as he looked around to think of something to do. 

Watching Jim stand at the side of the funeral car by himself, Sebastian took this as his chance to go over to the boy and just.. Well he wasn't sure what he was going to say but he'd soon find out. His feet were thinking faster than his brain, Sebastian's legs were already taking him over to Jim before he even had had time to protest or think about it.

“H-Hello James." Came a low and shaky voice from Sebastian, God he hated himself at how pathetic he sounded. 

Jim freezes and looks up at the blond, so many people he didn't know of were just coming up and speaking to him so he took this man no differently. “Hi." Jim mumbled quietly. Sebastian could tell Jim was a bit reserved, his eyes looking everywhere, looking for well..him. 

A long moment of silence passes between them, Jim looking up eyeing Sebastian up in the process.

“You a friend of my mothers then?" Jim asked, his voice detected a hint of concern but it's to be expected when people you don't know keep coming up to you. 

“Yes.." He says shakily, biting down on his tongue as soon as his answer left his lips. Great now he'd have to keep up this lie all day, Sebastian not having the heart to correct Jim and tell him who he really was. “I knew her from col-"

Sebastian stops when he hears Jim letting out a loud sigh beneath him, the blond frowns while hesitantly place a hand upon Jim's shoulder. 

“You're a brave young man." Jim shakes his head while letting out another sigh. “My..friend.. He was suppose to be coming but, it doesn't seem like he's going to show up." Jim shrugged, you could see the absolute disappointment in his eyes, a horrible knotting feeling started deep within him. 

Sebastian bit down on his lip and shuffled along awkwardly. “I'm sorry to hear that." Sebastian finally spoke in response. “Did eh. Did he mean a lot to you?" Sebastian couldn't help but ask, but my god did Jim's accent go right through the blond. It was so thick but Jim's voice had sound a sweet sound about it too. 

“Yes." Jim whispered, the boys eyes suddenly directing towards the funeral car which seemed to be readying the coffin to come out. 

“Get inside and sit down Jim god sake." A man suddenly snapped as he stood in front Jim while waiting to take a hold of the coffin as it was coming out of the car. Sebastian could only assume that was his father, he could already tell he wasn't going to like this man one little bit. 

Sebastian looked down and saw Jim was practically shaking, poor thing. Jim was stood waiting for him yet, he was right there in front of him. Jim just didn't know it sadly. Sebastian felt an awful wave of guilt just wash over him, he'd had that feeling since he'd agreed to even come to the funeral actually. 

“Come on, I'll take you in." Sebastian spoke softly, the hand that was on Jim's shoulder now gently rubbing up and down the brunette's back soothingly. “But my friend.." Sebastian had to try with all his might not to let those words show they were killing him, he really wanted to just give the boy a big massive hug and let him know. Of course now, of all times would be very cruel. Sebastian would wait, get the funeral done first before he said anything else for now. 

Jim did start to walk into the church eventually, he just had to compose himself that he would in fact be alone for the service instead of having the support from Sebastian there. 

“There you are." Sebastian smiled weakly down to Jim, he made sure the boy sat down comfortably before leaving him to take a seat somewhere near the back, yet somewhere that had a view of where Jim was seated too. Sebastian wanted to have an eye on Jim all he could today. 

The music suddenly started playing, Sebastian looked up and saw the coffin beginning to be walked in, Sebastian gulped wondering how he was going to find his seat now. “E-excuse me, m-mister?" Jim's voice seemed nothing more than a little squeak. “You can sit here." Jim scooted along slightly to make room, the blond looked around the church quickly, his options were running thin the closer the coffin was getting. In a rash decision Sebastian ducked down and took that seat beside Jim. “Thank you."

 

 

—

 

—

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I'm posting this a few days late, I was away on holiday and came back yesterday. The wifi wasn't good enough to post it so here we are.  
> Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian just keeps digging himself further and further into a very big hole.

 

 

 

The service began with a reading, though Sebastian couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that Jim was sat right beside him and the poor boy hadn't a clue who he was. Sebastian stared at Jim through the corner of his eyes, the small brunette was shaking terribly, the blond held himself the best he could, as much as he wanted to place an arm around Jim for support he wouldn't dare. That really would be over stepping the line, wouldn't it? Or was over stepping the line back when Sebastian agreed to meet Jim in person? Perhaps even further back when Sebastian made the decision to actually make a profile that had him lying about his age. 

Suddenly, the priest mentioned Jim's name to give a reading. Sebastian looked down to the boy and frowned, Jim was in no fit state to read anything out loud let alone in front of all these people. Sebastian turned and lowered his head closer to Jim's. “You don't have to do this if its too much." The words were soft and gentle, calm and reassuring. Surely people would understand? 

“Excuse me, I have to get up now." Jim's voice was raw and tired, he completely ignored the blonds words and stood ready to get out. Sebastian knew Jim wasn't going to make it through his whole reading, poor little thing. 

Sebastian moved aside to allow Jim to pass, their legs brushing against one another's for just a fraction of a second, Sebastian swore he felt something. Or maybe that was just the nerves Sebastian felt for the boy. 

Either way for the next so many moments all eyes were on Jim, the blond was watching him closely. Oh god he could see his eyes were still scanning the church, still trying to see if the Sebastian he was expecting was there, it was breaking the blonds heart. 

There on the stand Jim stood with his crumpled up pieces of papers, his eyes were watery but no tears had yet fallen. Sebastian knew they would fall soon. 

“A friend of mine. Who was meant to be here today but it appears something else came up." Jim gave out a nervous laugh. “Yeah.. They used to send me poems to cheer me up when I was upset.. So here's a little poem I found for my mother." Jim took a shaky breath, his hands gripping onto the papers in his hands tightly to try get rid of all the creases as best he could. 

“You brought me my first toy,  
My first bike and baseball glove.  
You filled my heart with joy,  
And you filled my life with love.  
You taught me how to count,  
And how to say my ABC's,  
How to say "You're Welcome,"  
"Thank You," and "Pretty Please."

You taught me "Our Father,"  
And "Hail Mary, Full of Grace,"  
And how to greet a neighbour,  
With a smile and embrace.  
You taught me that all things,  
Come from Jesus up above.  
But most of all, sweet Mother,  
You taught me how to love.

You taught me that all leprechauns,  
Possessed a pot of gold.  
And that they had these unicorns,  
Back in the days of old.  
You taught me that a fantasy,  
Could end up with a scream.  
You taught me not to give up,  
Not to give up on a dream." 

Jim had struggled on that last verse, the paper dropped from his hands yet no one seemed willing enough to go help him. Sebastian did. 

Standing up quietly, Sebastian made his way to the front where Jim was stood, he bent down and picked up the pieces of paper before placing a comforting arm around Jim's shoulders. Sebastian continued reading. 

“You taught me words of wisdom,  
And tended to my every need.  
You gave me all the tools,  
That a man needs to succeed.  
You filled my world with laughter,  
And you brightened up my world.  
And these are the reasons why,  
You're my best and favorite girl." 

With a small nod signalling the end of the poem, Sebastian smiled down to Jim weakly till the boy was ready to move back down to his seat. It didn't settle right in the blonds stomach that his father nor any other family member went to help Jim out just then. No love or support shown. Sebastian just glared at Jim's father as he walked past, what he'd like to do to that man for all the shit he'd put Jim through over the years. Sebastian had only known Jim just shy of a year and even he hated his father with all the stories Jim had told him about him, his childhood and growing up. 

One day, perhaps in the near or distant future who knew, but one day Sebastian was going to take him away from all this. Hed said it before but now he'd promised himself that one. 

 

 

The service was drawing to an end, Jim's mother was being cremated and only Jim was going. It was better that way, Jim's own personal little goodbye. 

Everyone stood as the music started playing, Jim stayed seated while his eyes glued on his mother's coffin. If there was ever such a sight, Sebastian this time did place an arm around Jim's shoulders for support. No one else was going to give it to him sadly. 

Neither Jim or Sebastian moved until the church was completely empty, even then Jim stayed still like a statue. “Come on you, let's get you out of here." Sebastian trying to speak as sweetly and calming as Jim needed. 

“Your accent." Jim croaked, slowly standing to his feet, a lot of help needed from Sebastian but of course he didn't mind. He was just glad he was finally here and helping. Perhaps not the way either of them wanted but he was here. “What about my accent?" Sebastian questioned. 

Jim didn't get a chance to answer before his father came up the couple of steps to meet them, he threw Sebastian a dirty look before pulling Jim away and back down into the car with the coffin. Sebastian resisted the urge to say something back, he didn't want to make a scene, the day was already taking its toll on Jim as it was. 

Sebastian stood with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, he watched on as Jim took a seat in the hearse, it wasn't long till the vehicle was slowly making its way out of the church grounds. A lump deep in Sebastian's throat. 

 

 

The reception, or the wake as most would call it was held in the Moriarty household. Jim thought it was a cruel joke, a decision made by his father of course. 

Sebastian went straight back to his hotel after the funeral, he wasn't sure if he could face actually going into Jim's home, or even seeing Jim again for that matter. It wasn't till the blond recieved messages off the site he and Jim were talking on did Sebastian change his mind. 

 

 

[11:57] JM: A no show? Of course.  
[11:58] JM: You let me down Seb.  
[11:58] JM: The one person I thought I could trust.  
[11:59] JM: Silly me.. 

 

 

He couldn't reply back to that. 

Sebastian slammed his phone down onto the table in front of the big mirror that hung above it, he took serval long glances at himself before nodding firmly. 

 

No one was in much of a happy mood, as to be expected after a funeral but Jim's father still insisted that everyone had a drink and there was loud music playing. To make it worse the music was the sort his mother hated and as the first track began Jim made that known. 

Not one word registered inside his fathers head, Jim's words went in one ear and out the other. In fact the music may of even went up louder. 

“This is not a party! This is a time to mourn her, you..you fucking useless scu-" Jim stopped, his father marching over to the boy to grab him by the collar roughly. 

“You fucking talk to me like that again you little..shit." Just then Sebastian had wondered through the front door, which was open so he assumed he could just waltz on in. Jim was puzzled as he looked over, his father watching that blond guy from earlier enter inside their home, did he know him? Whether he did or not he was glad of his presences, anyone who could take his fathers attention away from himself was welcomed here. 

Eventually the music was turned down low enough to where you could just hear the mumblings of people conversations. His father finally settled in a corner somewhere with just a few bottles, if it was anything drink could keep him quiet and off Jim's back for awhile. 

Sebastian stood in the entrance hallway, he needed a moment to take a breather. He'd spent the good part of an hour speaking to two very sweet women about their stories of Jim's mother. Jim was sat on the top steps of the stairs staring down at Sebastian, the evidence of him trying to keep himself together so clear on his face. 

“How you holding up?" Sebastian asked with his back pressed against the wall, his eyes trailing up the stairs to where Jim was sitting. 

“How did you say you knew my mum?" Sebastian bit down on his lip, what should be a very easy question to answer found its struggle with the blond at this given moment and circumstance. 

“We used to go to college together." Sebastian sighed, now slowly making his way up the stairs to sit beside the already very vulnerable feeling Jim. 

“Liar." 

Oh crap. Sebastian didn't know how to respond, he tilted his head to the side and frowned. “My mother never went to college. She had me instead." Jim shrugged, interrupting Sebastian thankfully to what ever God for shaken lie he was going to say. “It's ok, I know who you are." Sebastian truly was puzzled now, did he..did Jim really know? 

“Jim I.." Jim held up a hand to stop Sebastian for saying another word. This wasn't good, yet if he really did know then why was Jim acting so damn calm about this? Wouldn't he be wanting to get as far away from him as possible? 

“I saw my dads face when you turned up. You're my mother's fancy man, aren't you?" 

Oh thank god. 

Sebastian swore he stopped breathing for a good few seconds before Jim spoke and said who he thought he was, Sebastian suddenly began chuckling nervously beside Jim. Part of him though actually wanted Jim to know, it would save him having to announce it later on. Cowardly he knew but Sebastian really had no excuse for not correcting Jim now. 

“She always could have her pick of handsome men, if only she could of left my dad.." Jim sighed heavily, downing the last of the drink in his can he had in his hand. 

“Y-you think I'm handsome?" Sebastian laughed, well he had to focus on something or his mind may just about explode. “Sorry.." Jim giggled, quickly hiding his face while he felt his cheeks heat up. It felt good to hear Jim laugh, it seemed real and genuine and he'd done that, he'd made Jim feel happy enough to laugh. Even just for this once.

 

 

—

 

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian needs a shovel for this hole.

 

 

 

It was oh so bittersweet.

But.. Did Jim really just call him handsome? Sebastian was still trying to get his head around that. No sebastain, focus, now definitely was not the time.

Smiling weakly down to Jim, Sebastain had to do his best to hide his emotions from what he really wanted to do to the small boy. To scoop him up in his arms and tell him everything was going to be alright, that he'd take him away and protect him. Just like Sebastian had promised so many times in the past.

Though even now, this didn't feel right. It wasn't right.

As much as Sebastain was glad to see a smile on Jim's face, especially after the big day he had had, the blond quickly stood to his feet, trailing down the few steps he'd come up.

He turned on his heel once he was on the ground and sighed. “Where are you going?" Jim asked with a small frown, just when he was happy to actually have someone to talk to they leave. Jim shook his head with a fake chuckle of amusement.

“I'm just about to put this glass in the kitchen." Sebastain held up his hand with the empty glass that twirled between his fingers. “And probably head back to my hotel." The blond added with a small nod, as if to tell and let himself know as well as Jim.

Huffing slight, Jim's eyes racked up and down Sebastian's body, almost like he was trying to work something out. “Your accent! That's it, you're from London aren't you?" Jim called out, following the blond into the kitchen as if he'd just had a eureka moment. “Wait!"

Sebastian turned quickly, he was curious to see where Jim was going with this. He remembered Jim mentioning about his accent before when they were outside the church. Of course he'd never get the truth but clearly something had occurred inside Jim's mind just then. “Yeah.."

“Where abouts in London are you from?" Jim asked, his eyes fixed on Sebastian, hands clasped behind his back while seeming almost hopeful for something. Jim looked like he had a hundred and one more questions to ask Sebastian, in the boys own head the reasoning behind the questions probably seemed deemed.

“Central." Sebastian simply said with a shrug, he placed his empty glass down and turned back on himself to leave. “It was nice to finally meet you Jimmy." The blond smiled while fixing his collar up and a hand trailed through his hair.

Jim froze.

 

Jimmy?

 

There were only ever two people that had ever called Jim ‘Jimmy' in his life, one of who's funeral it was today. The other was of course Sebastian, who for now was unknowingly standing right in front of the small boy this very second.

“How did you meet my ma? I didn't think she'd ever been over to London?" Now it was Sebastian's turn to freeze, he glanced down to Jim sighing softly.

“You asked me before but your father pulled you away.. We met at co-"

“Jim! Come 'ere. Your aunt Marge wants to speak to you." Sebastian was luckily saved by Jim's father, as strange as that thought may of seemed. The blond gave a small smile and nod to Jim before opening the front door to leave, there was nothing else Jim could do but stand there and watch him leave. Poor thing, he stood right on the door step till his father came over to collect the boy and get him over to speak with his aunt.

Arriving back at his hotel was almost a relief, if Jim had carried on asking questions who knew where the answers may of ended them both up. It wasn't long after the blond arrived back did he get a message from Jim, his insides tightened. He was only now realising what he'd done, that he shouldn't of even gone to the funeral at all.

Sebastian read the message but didn't reply till later on, instead the blond took himself off to have a rather relaxing bath. He was trying to rid of this sickly feeling called guilt.

Of course no guilt left Sebastian.

 

 

 

**[18:39] Jim Moriarty has logged on.**

**[20:22] Sebastian Moran has logged on**.

 

 

 

[20:23] JM: Oh there he is.  
[20:23] JM: YOU LIAR!

[20:24] SM: Evening Jim.

[20:24] JM: Don't you even dare.

[20:25] SM: Don't what?

[20:25] JM: Where the hell WERE YOU?

[20:32] SM: I didn't lie, I didn't break my promise.  
[20:32] SM: I was there today Jim.

[20:35] JM: Stop lying to me!

[20:37] SM: I'm not lying. You gave a very moving speech, which some man had to help you with. I saw.

[20:38] JM: ...  
[20:39] JM: Why didn't you..

[20:40] SM: Come over? You two looked cosy.

[20:42] JM: Sebby no! It's not what it looks like!  
[20:43] JM: The guy was my mother's bit on the side.  
[20:43] JM: Please!!

 

**[20:45] Sebastian Moran has logged out.**

 

It was the cruelest of things to do, Sebastian knew that because his own heart was breaking. Why couldn't he just tell the truth? Things seemed bad now between them, surely now would be the time to come clean and at least end things on a hopeful better note?

 

 

Coldness.

That was all Jim felt, he sat just staring back at his laptop thinking what the hell had just happened. Sebastain was there? Jim couldn't seem to wrap his head around that, and to think Sebastain had twisted it all around to make Jim out to be the bad one was pretty low.

What was he meant to do now? Sebastain was all Jim bad, without the blond what has he got? Jim snapped his eyes tightly, no he was stronger and better than this and those thoughts.

 

It was nearing to midnight before their home was finally empty, just Jim and his dad were left here. With his father passed out, Jim quietly locked the front door before making a start on tidying the house up, he wouldn't normally do such a task without being asked first but right now Jim needed all the distractions he could get.

The boy would glance up at his phone every now and then to see if Sebastian had messaged him, he felt pathetic for doing so but it was becoming clearer to Jim just how much Sebastian had impacted on him.

1am came, the house was still not a hundred percent but at least Jim had collected all of the glasses and made a start on throwing rubbish away in black plastic bags.

Jim took himself off to bed shortly after that 1am chime of his clock, quietly tiptoeing up the stairs and into his room. There his laptop lay in the middle of his bed and Jim just couldn't help himself. He closed his door up while striping down to just his boxers to put his pyjamas on.

Sebastian still wasn't online. Jim gave a small sigh before clicking on the blonds name to begin to type out his message.

 

 

 

**[01:19] Jim Moriarty has logged on.**

 

 

[01:20] JM: Sebby, please speak to me! That man beside me was nothing, if you'd of just come over then you would of known.  
[01:22] JM: I need you. I can't do this without you you're my rock!  
[01:25] JM: You know I'm leaving for London the day after tomorrow, I hope we can still meet. Please?  
[01:30] JM: Have a safe flight tomorrow though.  
[01:37] JM: God you're going to make me say it aren't you?  
[01:39] JM: I love you you muppet. So please, just speak to me.

 

 

**[02:01] Jim Moriarty has logged out.**

**[02:04] Sebastian Moran has logged in**.

 

 

[02:16] SM: I love you too, Jimmy.

 

 

—

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans and decisions.

 

 

 

Jim woke up that next morning with his heart beating out of his chest, Sebastain had never said those words before, the little brunette sat up and read Sebastian's last message over and over again. His smile getting bigger each time he did.

Sebastian loved him.

Feeling extremely happier today, Jim hopped out of bed to brush his teeth and take a shower, just those few simple words had motivated Jim to actually get up and get dressed for the day ahead. He probably was going to stay in the house all day but that didn't matter, what mattered is the life within him that Sebastian gave to Jim when they spoke. Now all Jim hoped for was those words from Sebastian were real.

 

Unlike Jim, Sebastian had a fairly awful night sleep, he was tossing and turning all night trying to get comfortable. Guilt was a terrible thing and Sebastian had buckets full of it.

The first sign of daylight and Sebastian was up onto his feet, his flight back to London wasn't until 1:21pm meaning he had seven hours still to go, but he still would rather be up keeping himself busy than laying around trying to sleep or waiting around doing nothing.

Sebastian couldn't face his messenger to see what Jim may of replied with since his message last night, unaware that Jim was in fact over the moon even delighted with the message he'd received.

Jim still wanting to meet him tomorrow when he were in London was playing on Sebastian's mind a lot as he was packing what few things he'd taken out of his weekend bag. Jim had met him now, thought he was another person entirely, surely with that in mind Sebastian couldn't possibly reveal himself to Jim now? But to not meet the boy at all as himself would also be cruel too.

The blond was getting a headache with all this thinking and over thinking, it was getting overly frustrating.

 

Not even 8am and Sebastian was washed, dressed and packed ready to leave the hotel he was staying in, he walked down to reception to check out, declining the breakfast for today as he really just wanted to get on with his day. Sebastain would grab some sort of fast food from the shops around the airport later on, for now he could survive for an hour till then.

35€ a night wasn't bad at all, Sebastian paid by cash and thanked the receptionist with a charming smile. Sebastian could worm his way out of anything with that smile.

Sebastian placed his bag onto the back seat of the taxi and slid along side it with a yawn, at least for the next hour or so to the airport Sebastian could sit back and relax. Though whether he could relax was a different story entirely.

Rain.

That's all Sebastian heard while they drove, it usually was a peaceful and calming sound for the blond to hear, one he'd fallen asleep to many times but now the sound was simply irritating and annoying.

 

 

**[10:03] Jim Moriarty has logged in.**

 

 

[10:05] JM: Sebby?  
[10:46] JM: Safe flight hm?  
[11:23] JM: Your message last night meant the world to me by the way.  
[11:29] JM: Please be waiting for me tomorrow.

 

 

It wasn't till Sebastian was switching his phone onto airplane mode did he notice that he was still logged in and Jim had been sending him messages. He bit down on his lip while reading them, a ridiculous little flutter in his stomach.

“Next." Sebastian jumped as he was being tapped on the shoulder to hurry the queue along, he quickly shoved his phone into his pocket and handed over his passport and boarding pass. Man he really hated airports, always making you feel like criminal when you weren't. Well, technically impersonating a teenage boy was a crime but no one knew about that.

Sebastian took his passport and boarding pass back before processing to make his way onto the plane, the quicker this plane took off the quicker he'd be back home and be able to speak to Jim properly. Just a little head space, that's all Sebastian needed to see what was right to do.

The worst thing about flying alone was having to sit beside someone you don't know, Sebastian was learning that the hard way as he was sat in the middle of two strangers on this flight. To his left was an elderly woman with the loudest clicking of her jaws as she chewed on her hard sweets. To Sebastian's right was a fairly decent looking guy that looked to be in his early twenties, with chocolate brown hair and a magnificent pair of green eyes the blond couldn't help but stare as the gentleman had sat down.

Still not a patch on Jim Sebastian thought, he could look but just couldn't touch.

The flight between Ireland and London is impressive, how you can be in another country in less than an hour, though Sebastian could do with a bit more leg room. A flight anymore longer than an hour and Sebastian would definitely pay extra for the upgrade.

With the plane landing and coming to a stop, all the passengers began rushing to get their hand luggage down all wanting to be the first ones off. Sebastian sat back and waited till the crowds died down, smiling as the guy beside did the same. “Only sensible ones are we? Or was I just blocking you in?" The other laughed, that god damn Irish accent surging through Sebastian's body like it could actually cause some damage listening to such a sound all day. “No no, I was waiting too." Sebastian chuckled, standing to his feet and following the dark haired guy out the plane and through the tunnel out to collect their luggage.

Silence was all that sounded between them, clearly no spark there but that wasn't any harm, in the blonds mind he was in fact already taken anyway.

“Well, this is me. See you around ay?" Sebastian waved the guy off as he waited for his own luggage to come through, not even a name to the face. Sebastian wouldn't lose too much sleep over it that was for sure.

Typical.

When all Sebastian wanted to go was go home and speak to Jim, that's the time his bag had to be the bloody last one to come through onto the luggage carousal. Though on a plus he only lived half an hour away from the airport, he was lucky in that respect.

Although UK and Ireland had pretty similar weather, Sebastian couldn't half tell the difference in those two degrees in warmth once sat on bus back to his flat. He was almost thankful for them, Sebastian loved the heat. He craved those heat waves in the summer, mid August now he was certainly hoping for one soon.

 

Home sweet home then.

Sebastian unlocked his front door with much relief, he placed his bag onto the couch and flopped himself down next to it. Messaging Jim was the only thing on his mind right now, he'd thought and thought and come to the conclusion that tomorrow, tomorrow he'd meet Jim and tell him exactly who he is. No more hiding and no more lies. He just hoped Jim could handle it.

 

 

[15:47] SM: I'll be waiting for you Jim.  
[15:47] SM: 4:15pm along Oxford street.  
[15:48] SM: Wear something cute. :P

[15:50] JM: Ohhh Sebby! You won't regret it! Thank you.  
[15:52] JM: Something cute?

[15:53] SM: Oh yeah, you'll figure it out.

[15:55] JM: Hmm... ;D  
[15:56] JM: Glad you got home alright too.

[15:57] SM: Thank you. :)

 

 

They both stayed up the whole night talking to one another after that, the pair of them both too excited to sleep it seemed.

Sebastian just had to hope all this built up will be worth it.

 

 

–

 

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and Jim's first meeting, again.

 

 

 

 

Something cute something cute, wear something cute.

What did Sebastian define as cute exactly anyway Jim thought, despite his confusion for now he packed all of his best clothes, still not sure on what he was going to wear later on today to meet Sebastian in.

God it was already 8am, Jim was pacing his room making a mental note of everything he had to pack and bring. He had half an hour till he had to be at school to leave on one of the serval mini buses the school had hired out to take them all to the airport.

Jim was going with a class of twenty nine other students, with a class of thirty students he wasn't worried about being noticed whilst slipping away from the rest of the group. It wasn't like anyone was going to miss him anyway, Jim wouldn't even be going on this trip if it wasn't to London, where Sebastian was. A week away from his dad, a week away from his terrible life here, a week in London with Sebastian. It seemed almost perfect, Jim finally meeting the boy of his dreams, or so he thought. Nothing felt better than that first love though. Jim was sure it was going to be his first and last.

“You ready kid?" Jim's father shouted from downstairs, the man just as eager to see the back of Jim as the brunette was to leave.

“Coming." Jim zipped up his suitcase excitedly, while pulling his rucksack onto his back and his side bag over his shoulder. Yeah he had three bags worth of luggage but really one of those were hand luggage and plus, Jim was hoping to be staying longer than a week if things with Sebastian planned out the way he hoped.

It was a struggle getting his massive suitcase down the stairs, but eventually with much determination Jim got that suitcase down to the bottom of the stairs with a wide grin. “I'm ready!"

His father unlocked the front door and walked over to the car, unlocking the car for Jim to get his bags into the boot. “Hurry on son, don't wanna miss the mini bus now do you?" His father smirked as he sat down in the drivers seat, grinning whilst watching Jim struggle with all three bags. Bastard.

Jim, eventually was successful and slipped into the back seat of the car with a sigh of relief. “Let's go."

 

 

Sebastian woke up around noon, his eyes blinking open slowly to adjust to the already brightly full room of light coming from the sun behind his curtains. Today was the day. No more lies or secrets, everything would be out in the open, it would then be up to Jim if he wanted to continue to see and speak to Sebastain or not.

And my God did Sebastian hope Jim would want to carry on speaking with him.

Yawning, Sebastian rubbed at his eyes ridding the sleep before sitting up and stand to his feet to get ready for the day. There was only four hours until he and Jim had arranged to meet.

Despite Sebastian having already met Jim, this time there was a whole new kind of nerves. He was going to meet Jim as him, no more lying no more hiding and that's the part that scared him the most.

 

 

A showered and shaved Sebastian wondered back into his room, his towel hugging his slim hips as he flickered through his wardrobe in search of an outfit to wear for Jim. Something smart yet slightly casual too. He didn't want to over do it or appear too much.

A pair of his best jeans and a polo shirt was what Sebastian's searching achieved, he'd slip on a leather jacket over the top too to complete the outfit. A plain white polo shirt was the blonds choice of colour, to you know bring out those well toned muscles of his.

It had just gone past three o'clock before Sebastain was completely dressed, a spray of his best aftershave and he was done. He looked over at himself in the mirror and smiled, though he could scrub up as well as he liked that didn't mean Jim was going to forgive him let alone even speak to him again.

With an hour still to go, Sebastian trailed down the stairs into his kitchen. He'd only get himself a small snack to have for now, he was hoping he and Jim would end up going for a late lunch, or early dinner or something. Which ever way you want to look at it.

Sebastian grabbed an apple and took a seat outside in his small back garden, for once the weather was fairly decent. Sebastain was hoping it was a sign, or was he really being that stupid in that kind of thinking?

Putting his sunglasses on, Sebastian leaned back on his garden bench, his mind trying to picture and plan just how this afternoon would unfold. But it seemed no matter how much he planned and hoped in his head, things were never going to go exactly to plan. Sometimes they could turn out better than expected, but a lot of the time things are worse. Sebastian had to hope this time wasn't the latter.

At 4 o'clock Sebastian's clock chimed, oh yes the blond had one of those clocks that made a sound every hour. It was a pain at first but now Sebastain doesn't even notice it, well unless he's waiting something. Like today.

Sebastain stood to his feet and walked inside, he placed the cord of the apple into the bin and picked up his phone, keys and wallet. This was it. One last glance in the hallway mirror before Sebastain opened the front door up, with a deep breath he stepped out and locked his flat up and began on his way to Oxford street. Oh boy.

 

 

 

It was 4:10pm. Jim kept looking down at his phone every ten seconds for the time it seemed, his stomach was fluttering he could hardly wait. In a mere five minutes Sebastian would be here right in front of him.

The streets were packed with people, it was like a maze just getting from one shop to the next. Of course London bing so busy made slipping away from his class more than easy, now he just had to find a visible space where Sebastain would be able to spot him in.

Jim was wearing his something cute, or what he hoped was cute enough anyway. The brunette wore a light thin t-shirt with dungarees over the top that went above the knee. He hoped Sebastian would like it, would like him.

The minutes ticked on slowly, Jim was now beginning to pace anxiously the longer time seemed to go on. “Please Sebastain, please show up." Jim muttered quietly to himself, his eyes now falling to the ground, the more time went on the more Jim was losing faith that the blond was going to show up.

“I'm here.." Sebastian whispered, a soft hand being placed upon Jim's shoulder, the blond had found Jim within all the crowds, heck Sebastain would be able to find Jim like a needle in a hay stack if he really had to.

Sebastian was stood behind Jim, the brunette not yet willing to turn around, probably in fear of it not being real but it was in fact very real. Sebastain was just about to find that out in mere moments.

“It's really you?" Jim questioned, his voice so soft and timid, the brunette closed his eyes with a wide smile. He counted to three and slowly began to turn around, that's when his smile slowly began to fade.

“What are you d-" Sebastian held a hand up to Jim, signalling for the brunette to stop that sentence.

“Oh you.." Sebastian sighed, his hand now stroking slowly down Jim's cheek, all the while Jim's expression was pained and confused and it was breaking Sebastian just to see.

“Say something.." Sebastian whispered, his big blue eyes practically begging for Jim to speak, to scream or shout. Just for Jim to do something, have some kind of reaction than just standing there freezing while looking up at him.

Sebastian took a step back, both his hands falling down to his sides. “I was never your mothers bit off the side." Sebastian began, hoping and making that part to Jim very clear. “See, I never lied.. Well about that I was there at your mothers funeral.. I clearly lied about-" Sebastian bit down on his lip while looking down at the ground, his feet shuffling awkwardly along.

Well this was going great...

 

 

—

 

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is out and Jim wants answers.

 

 

 

Hurt. 

Betrayed. 

Stupid. 

Those were just a few of the words describing how Jim felt at this very moment. 

Confused, definitely too. 

It was like time stood still, Jim covered his mouth with his hands to mask the shock that was plastered all over his face. 

Sebastian was a grown man. A grown man that..had the most beautiful blue ey- 

Jim shook his head, his eyes snapping shut as if to not look and see the reality that was in front of him. “Jim.." Sebastian's voice was nothing more than a low croak, yeah he'd definitely ruined everything, Jim even looked ridiculously cute in his little outfit too, though Sebastian was trying not to focus on that too much and worry about if the small brunette was even going to speak to him ever again to sort this out. 

Sebastian took a step back and sat down on the bench behind them both, his eyes not once leaving Jim as the brunette was still just stood there with his mouth covered. Jim's eyes were darting around nervously, probably trying to scope out the best route to run away. 

It had been nearly five minutes before Jim's arms dropped down to his side, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly. 

“I'll answer anything you want to know." Sebastian whispered, his eyes pleading with Jim almost, he just wanted a chance to have his say and show Jim that they could work, maybe. Maybe it wouldn't work out, maybe Jim wouldn't be able to love a 28 year old man but what if maybe he could. Maybe Sebastian would be the best thing to ever happen to Jim and as time grew the age difference wouldn't even matter anymore. 

Sebastian could hope for the latter but who was he kidding? This reaction from Jim wasn't a good one at all and was not very promising. 

As time went on the streets got busier and Sebastian could see how nervous and anxious that was making Jim, who was still stood in front of him. What he wouldn't do to just scoop the boy up in his arms and tell him things were going to be alright, that he'd look after him and his feelings were in fact every true and very real just as he'd said. 

“Do you want to go somewhere a little quieter?" Sebastian suggested while scratching the back of his head. Sebastian's eyes suddenly widened while he saw the look on Jim's face, his mind ticking away as he realised what he just said could of been taken. “Oh god not like..I just meant to a small caffe or something. You know somewhere the two of us could talk..?" Sebastian shook his head, he was on a losing battle. 

“Look Jim if I'm wasting my time I'll just g-" Sebastain stood to his feet, his body standing closer to Jim than he thought and quickly had to take a step back from the brunette. Another few moments and Sebastain could no longer see the point in trying when it was clear this wasn't going to go the way he hoped. Sebastian was just glad he'd told Jim the truth about himself before they parted and would go their separate ways. 

“Well, it was good to see you again, Jimmy." A warm and charming falling onto the blonds face, he held out his hand for Jim to shake, just hoping the boy would accept the small gesture and contact. 

Standing there with his eyes blinking up to the blond, Jim finally spoke for the first time since they'd met, although his voice was shaky the words were clear enough to hear. “Yes. I mean-" Jim bit down on his lip, his eyes still having trouble looking up at Sebastain as his gaze seemed to dart all over the place. “About the cafe..I'd like to..somewhere quieter." 

Hearing Jim suddenly speak, Sebastains stomach fluttered, Jim's answer not all what he was expecting but he was incredibly pleased about it never the less. “O-ok yes, sure." Sebastain nodded eagerly, his hands flapping about nervously wondering what to do with himself. “I know a small little cafe that is only round the corner." Sebastian added, smiling weakly down to the brunette. Jim's beauty only now sinking in to Sebastian, God that outfit too, Sebastian was having trouble concentrating when Jim was looking so.. cute and sweet. 

While the two of them walked side by side Sebastian decided to remain silent until they were at the cafe, he was nervous and he was sure he'd end up saying something just to fill the silence that seemed to hang over them in the air. Sebastian would glance down to Jim every now and then, he could see the clocks all ticking around in the poor boys head, probably trying to piece together this huge big mess. Sebastian was shocked that Jim had even agreed to go to the cafe with him, perhaps there was hope yet. 

Once they arrived Sebastian peered in through the window and saw the place was pretty dead, thankfully. He opened the door up for Jim letting him step inside first before following in after. “Tea, coffee? A little cake or something?" Sebastian suggested as they both stood at the counter looking up at the menu.

“Tea.. Just tea please." Jim's voice sounding like the most sad and pathetic thing in the world. Sebastian nodded and ordered two teas for them both to have. 

Standing at the counter waiting for the drinks, Sebastian watched as Jim took it upon himself to choose them a place to sit, although Jim still wasn't talking much Sebastian still took it as a good sign and that he wanted to be here too. Why not try save this? What they had was special, why let something trivial like ten years between them make a difference to what could be. 

“Here you are sweet." Sebastian bit down on his lip as soon as the pet name left his lips, he placed the cups of tea down and sat down in his seat with a smile. Sebastian stayed quiet for a little while, not wanting to press for anything that Jim wasn't comfortable with right now. 

 

This situation wasn't the best no but Jim knew a good thing when he saw it, he wasn't going to completely write Sebastian off, not until he heard the facts of why and what for. There was a brief moment of silence before Jim spoke up, he had loads of questions and he needed to get them out and know before he'd explode. 

“Why did you do it?" Jim asked with a blank expression, fiddling with his hands that sat in his lap, although his eyes couldn't look at Sebastian he was intrigued to know the answers. 

Explaining why was more difficult than Sebastian first thought, he sighed loudly before taking a deep breath to compose himself to answer. “Start with the most difficult ay?" Sebastian laughed though now really wasn't for jokes. “I..I guess I have a thing for the eh the younger man." It wasn't the most detailed explanation but that really was base of it, Sebastian liked younger men and he didn't think it would ever become a problem. Well until now obviously. 

Laughter wasn't the first response Sebastian was expecting to hear but there Jim was, laughing cutely to his answer. Sebastian didn't know if that was a good or bad thing, he narrowed his eyes while sipping at his tea. 

“Oh come on, it is hilarious. A big strong handsome strapping guy like you could have anyone he wants, yet he chooses little boys." Jim spoke while continuing to laugh, he didn't intend to make the words sound harsh but that's exactly how it sounded. 

“Not little boys, young men." Sebastian corrected him, if Jim listened close enough he may of heard the faint hint of annoyance in the blonds words. 

With Jim suddenly finding a voice the brunette grew more confident too, which despite the circumstances was a huge break, though Sebastain laid off speaking unless Jim spoke to him first for a little while longer. 

“How long have you been speaking to ‘young men' online? Because I assume you've done this before, you've too good at lying for this to be your first time." Sebastian had prepared himself for that question though now it was out in the open he couldn't seem to make the words leave his lips. He took a few sips of his tea before clearing his throat. 

“Five years and no, you're not the first. But you are the first one that I grew feelings for." Jim rolled his eyes wondering how many times Sebastian had used a line like that before. 

“How old are you..?" Although Jim did judge last twenties he couldn't be a hundred percent sure so confirmation would be good. “Twenty eight, twenty nine in two days." Sebastian answered without even looking at Jim, scared of what the brunette's reaction might be. Disgust most likely. 

Nodding slowly, Jim casually turned his head to scope out where the bathroom was, just to give him and Sebastian a moment or two to process the last hour or so of what had actually happened. Jim was still here for a reason, though Sebastian would need to earn back that trust if anything were to.. develope more. 

Standing to his feet, Jim threw the blond the first smile he'd shown before excusing himself to go along to the bathroom, Jim saw the nervousness in Sebastian's eyes and sighed. “I'll be right back." 

With Jim out of sight Sebastian dragged his hands roughly through his hair, his heart rate increasing to probably about a mile a minute, given the situation he'd allow the slight crazy and tingles in his body. Sebastian wanted to believe things were going well, they must be going alright for Jim to still be here right? 

 

This was crazy, unbelievable in fact. Jim stood at the sinks in the bathroom just looking at himself in the mirror, he wrinkled up his nose just looking at what he was wearing. The brunette suddenly feeling cheap and dirty and he didn't want to feel that way, Sebastian had never really spoken to him in that content before. Now he knew the reason for that and that fact alone Jim grew a little respect for the blond. It seemed Sebastain liked him for just being him, Jim wasn't sure why but it felt nice. 

Thinking things over a little longer than he anticipated, Jim finally emerged from the bathroom and walked back over to Sebastian, he kept a blank expression and took his seat again silently. 

“Give me some time." Sebastian's eyes grew wide, his chest aching as he felt what those words meant, a life line, a chance, a blessing. “Of course." He nodded, delighted and thrilled to think Jim was even considering it let alone asking him to give him time to get used to the idea. Sebastian was full of so much hope, he really wished things would end up the way it seemed they might. 

Nothing more was said after that for a while, a silence fell upon them both but even Jim could admit it was a comfortable silence at that. 

Hopeful. 

Possibilities.

 

 

—

 

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos and comments.  
> I post a new chapter every Sunday.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullies are pricks, but Sebastian tries to comfort Jim.

 

 

 

 

It was approaching closing time for the cafe meaning the pair would soon have to part, finishing up the conversations they were having, both Jim and Sebastian stood to their feet to leave making their way over to the door. Today hadn't been a total waste it seemed but they were going to give each other space for the rest of the day and planned to meet up at the same place the following day. Taking things slow, it was the best way. They had something here and neither one wanting to throw it away just yet. 

Sebastian guided Jim back to the nearest tube station, the goodbye was kept short before taking himself back home. Neither of them liking to say goodbye. Sebastian's feet were heavy as he walked while loud sighs kept falling from his lips. He knew he was seeing Jim again tomorrow, so why did he feel so awful leaving him there? 

When Sebastian arrived home it was a surprise to him to have a message from Jim sent from a minute after he had dropped the small boy off outside the tube station. 

 

 

[18:12] JM: You're not so bad, for an old man. 

 

A smiled curled onto Sebastian's lips, he wasn't so bad? Was this Jim already warming around to the idea? Sebastian hoped do, but nothing was ever that straight forward and plain sailing. Even if it seemed they were both getting along great in the cafe. 

 

 

 

 

[18:28] SM: I'm taking that as a compliment. 

[18:30] JM: Good. It was meant to be one.  
[18:34] JM: See you tomorrow Seb. 

[18:39] SM: Jim? 

[18:41] JM: Yeah..? 

[18:44] SM: It was good to see you again, and to see you again as..me. No lies or mask to hide behind.

[18:46] JM: Just give me time Seb, I'm just glad you told the truth.  
[18:46] JM: Eventually. 

[18:48] SM: Me too :) 

[18:49] JM: :) 

 

 

 

 

Both Jim and Sebastian had logged out and remained offline for the rest of the night. Sebastian could feel his heart start to beat fast with excitement at the thought of seeing Jim again, perhaps he and Jim could actually make this work. The blond now sat and wondered why he'd been worrying all this time with Jim suddenly surprising him and acting this so understanding. 

Sebastian did what he usualy did in the evenings, sat in front of the television, though minus chatting to Jim to all hours and actually focusing on what was on the screen in front of him. He sat with an ice cold beer in one hand, the blond thought it would help to calm himself and relax for the night, it had been a roller coaster of a day. He took himself off to bed at around midnight and slept until his alarm went off the following morning. 

 

Jim on the other hand, his night was absolutely awful. The boys who were also on this little school trip used to pick on Jim back home, but now they've seen how Jim snuck away from the class and the bullies were now taunting the small brunette worse than ever. At one point all three of the bullies had Jim pinned down to the ground while the other two started throwing punches. They only stopped when the teacher knocked on the door to tell them lights out. 

It was another night Jim curled himself up into a ball filled with pain, his ribs ached while his warm eyes stung from tears running down his cheek. Jim cried himself to sleep silently. Being with Sebastain definitely didn't seem so bad, it was an escape with someone who truly did care for him, Jim liked that thought. 

The alarm really couldn't come quick enough. 07:00 and Jim was up out of bed, heading to the showers to change and get ready for the day ahead. He pealed off his clothes, wincing in pain slightly as he reached his arms up to take his pyjama top off. Small bruises were peppered all over his pale body, Jim frowned feeling even more disgusted with himself than he already was before. 

The shower was painful, though the warm water pouring down onto his body helped Jim's body relax just a little there was that constant pain stinging through him. It wasn't fair why these things always happened to him. 

Once washed and dressed, Jim headed back to his room only to find the bullies from last night had completely messed up and ruined all his things and thrown them all over the floor while he was showering. Anger grew deep inside of Jim, though first came the fear, the fear of what more these boys could and would do to him. 

Jim took his phone and left the hotel, he wasn't going to stay in a place where he'd be treated like absolute shit when he could get that at home whenever he wanted for free. 

Sebastian. Love and affections. That's what Jim needed and he was going to get it. 

Jim made his way back to Oxford Street by the clearly labeled signs, lucky this time in an outfit that didn't feel so revealing either. Jim had just thrown on a pair of skinny jeans and one of his favourite hoodies, he didn't really have time to think of anything more. Once he saw the state of his room he just wanted to get out of the hotel as quickly as he could. 

Jim was quite pleased of his efforts, he'd even managed the faintest of smiles as he sat walked along before taking a seat along one of the benches as he waited till 12:30pm came. Jim didn't want to let Sebastian know he'd arrived early, or the reason why he had. No, he'd just stick it out sitting and hanging around here for serval hours until the time came. 

 

An early morning was something Jim and Sebastian were both experiencing, 7:45am Sebastian awoke after quite an unsatisfying dream. He sat up suddenly while panting quietly, there was definitely no going back to sleep for the blond after that. 

After a long debate with himself, by long probably a good twenty to thirty minutes the blond finally dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom. Sebastian was now smiling at himself in the mirror and he knew exactly what for, he felt like seventeen again the way Jim was making him feel. 

Alive. 

Washed, shaved and dressed. Sebastian also taking extra measures as to floss his teeth after brushing them well done too. It's not like Sebastian was being incredibly hopeful or optimistic in thinking anything were to happen no, but if it did he'd have nothing but minty freshness on his breath. 

Taking longer than he thought to get ready, Sebastian trailed..no more bounced down the stairs to grab his house keys, wallet and phone before heading out the door to meet Jim. Oh how the morning had seemed to had escaped from beneath Sebastian, he didn't even have time to make anything to eat. Though that did leave open a possibility for them to go grab some lunch together. God Sebastian was praying Jim would show up. 

12:23pm.

Sebastian approached Oxford street with great excitement and fear, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets the blond crossed his fingers stupidly, as if that would bring him some sort of good luck of Jim showing up. 

“Jim.." Sebastian muttered as soon as he saw the small boy sat there, he smiled to himself before composing himself and walking over with confidence. 

Out the corner of his eye Jim spotted the blond, though he kept his gaze the same as he waited for Sebastian to walk over, he didn't want to seem too eager. Though here they both were, both seeming to be here early than the arranged time, clearly both were eager as each other really. 

“Hello you." Came that familiar voice. Sebastian smiled warmly down to Jim before sitting down beside the small brunette. “Hi."

Jim was sure he suddenly felt something deep in the pit of his stomach. 

“How was your evening and morning?" Sebastian asked to get the conversation going, he could see Jim was wary of something and he hoped it wasn't because of himself. Slowly but steadily Sebastian raised an arm to place around Jim's shoulder lightly. “What's up?" Sebastian whispered, he could see Jim's lip quivering as a result of whatever was on his mind. 

With the boy giving him no answer, Sebastain was getting quite worried about him as it was clear something was on Jim's mind, he just wished the boy would open up to him like he did online. At that thought, Jim suddenly turned and threw his arms around Sebastian's neck, his face nuzzling deep into the blonds neck while he let out a small sigh almost like it was a relief. 

“Hey, hey. Come on. Please tell me what's wrong darling." Sebastian mumbled gently beside Jim, the nickname just slipping out accidently but it didn't seem like Jim minded, in fact he was opening hugging Sebastain tighter. 

Something serious was definitely wrong. 

 

“The bullies.." Jim's small and quiet voice croaked. 

There was some sort of relief that fell off of Jim's shoulders at his words, but unfortunately that only meant Sebastian's shoulders felt incredibly heavy. Bullies? Oh god. 

“Did they do something to you when you got back yesterday?" Sebastain asked, slowly pulling Jim away from him so the boy would be able to answer him and even see his face. Jim nodded, though he kept his head down low as if he were ashamed of himself. Sebastain wasn't having that. 

“Hey, you look at me." Sebastian began as he placed a finger under Jim's chin to bring his gaze up to meet the blonds. “You're so much more than you see, those cowards. Yes cowards Jim, they haven't got a patch on you and I'm going to show you how special you are. I'm.." Sebastian bit down on his lip as he glanced deep into Jim's big brown beautiful eyes, to see all the hurt and pain behind them. “I'll take you away from it all, I'll do all those things I'd promise I would. I can make you so incredibly happy. If you'll let me.." Sebastian's thumb was now smoothing over Jim's cheek softly, the feel of the brunette soft skin against his own rough hand. 

“I am letting you." Jim whispered timidly letting his voice be heard.

 

 

—

 

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for not updating in a few weeks. I have the story mapped out of where i want to take this fic. Thank you so much for the lovely comments and kudos. I am carrying on with this fic but I just may not be able to post every week but I'll try my best. X


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinema (date?) and a first kiss.

 

 

 

The past few moments had not been what Sebastian was expecting, all the blond knew was this boy, this incredibly sweet, cute and wonderful boy that Sebastain had had just happened to fall in love with, not ideally it would seem but that was life was depending on him now to look out for him. To look after and take care of him. He didn't know how this was going to work out but Sebastain would find a way, he'd come to realise that he'd do anything for Jim. He flew to Ireland for the boys mother's funeral. That should tell Jim something of how Sebastain feels about him. 

Time ticked by, the longer Sebastain was hugging Jim so protectively the more people began to turn and stare as they walked by. Sebastian would of told them to get lost or mind their own business if he thought it would help, shouting would only get more people to stare. Neither one of them needed that. 

“Do you want to go grab a coffee or something?" Sebastain suggested, speaking for the first time in the last so many minutes. 

Jim didn't speak, simply nodded in approval while slowly pulling away again from Sebastain and standing to his feet. Sebastian looked up to Jim, his eyes giving the boy a once over making sure all was alright before stand to his own feet. “Right this way.." Sebastian placed an arm around Jim's shoulders, gently guiding him down the street to another small little coffee shop. Different to the one they went to yesterday. 

A little bell rang as they entered into the coffee shop, Sebastian pointed a few seats out to Jim for him to go save for them whilst he'd order them their drinks. Everything having to be said so delicate and warmly as not to scare the small boy off now that Sebastian had managed to get this far with him. 

Sebastain leaned against the counter, letting the cashier know their order for their drinks, with the addition of a chocolate chip cookie for Jim too. Sebastian knew how much the brunette had a sweet tooth, something to cheer Jim up even if it would just be for a little bit. 

While waiting Sebastain turned and looked over at Jim, the boys shoulders all tensed and tight, head down low while his body all screwed in on itself. It was heartbreaking to see what a few mere bullies could do to a person, though Jim had had more than a lifetime of it all he'd had to deal with alone. As well as that father of his too. 

Once the drinks were made Sebastian carried the tray over and placed it down upon the table, passing Jim over his drink and cookie he'd got him. “Have that, keep your strength up." He smiled, slowly sipping at his own. 

There were of course a million and one questions floating around in both their heads but neither of them said a word, they sat in this comfortable silence for the next twenty minutes or so. Sebastain certainly wasn't going to press for anything, he was just glad to be here with the boy, to be able to keep him safe now. That was the main thing. 

“That was nice, thank you." Jim's voice was so soft and delicate, almost like a whisper. He leaned back in his chair, eyes to the ground still not wanting to make eye contact. 

“How are you feelin-" 

Jim raised his hand up to stop Sebastian finishing that sentence, the brunette was still the same but what was the point in saying that every ten minutes? “Talk about anything, just like you used to online when I felt shit, alright?" 

Sebastian nodded, he could see Jim's point and sat there chewing on the inside of his cheek for something to say. 

“We could take a walk in the local park?" Sebastian suggested after a few moments. 

“Too crowded." Jim shot back quickly. 

“How about to a restaurant and have a nice meal?" 

“I'm not hungry after the cookie you just got me." 

That went on for a while, Sebastian would suggest somewhere or something to do but Jim would dismiss the idea as quickly as it was spoken. The blond was running out and feared if this was just Jim's way of being in some sort of control. 

“Ok, what about the cinema? And that's my final offer!" Sebastian held his hands up, he had surrendered now that was all he had left after the past twenty minutes of suggestions just declined. 

“Two hours of us both sat in the dark?" Jim raised his brow. 

“Fine! Fine that's it that's all I-" Jim suddenly burst out into giggles, interrupting the blond who just seemed to pout in confusion. Jim's eyes flickering up to sneak a glance of Sebastian before a small smile appeared on his lips. “The cinema sounds great, what's on?" 

“We can go down and see what there is in a bit." Sebastian sipped at the rest of his drink, both them seeming to be a little more relaxed now which was definitely a good thing because they had a plan of the day ahead, half of it anyway. He and Jim going to the cinema together, one would class that as a first date but given this was all to cheer Jim up Sebastian didn't want to mention that small little detail. For now this was just two friends hanging out. 

 

\--

 

“Sweet or salty?" 

Jim raised a brow, as if the blond was even questioning which option he would go for for his popcorn. “Sweet." Sebastian nodded in agreement and ordered two lots of sweet popcorn along with their cinema tickets. They decided on a horror, Sebastian was fine by that as it was an excuse to put his arm around Jim if he were to get too scared, and surprisingly Jim was craving that contact anyway. 

A real gentleman that's what Sebastian was trying to be, holding open the screen number door for Jim, carrying his popcorn, paying for his food and ticket. He wasn't doing it all to get some kind of reward from Jim, although he wouldn't turn down a quick peck if and when a moment was there. No Sebastian was doing this because that's what he's like, mister generous as others had often called him in the past. Always giving, helping people out, he'd been like that his whole life. 

Now he had Jim, it was like a focus for Sebastain where all his affection could go. 

It would take time yet before anything serious would ever happen between the pair of them, but Sebastain knew that he meant more to Jim than he knew. The words hadn't been spoken by the actions were clear enough. 

Jim sat in his seat, placing in drink in the cup holder before pulling down Sebastian's seat for him. “You won't get too scared now will you?" Jim grinned, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth with great satisfaction. 

The film began and as expected there were a few jumpy parts, though Jim seemed disappointed with it in the middle, almost like he was bored as his gaze kept wondering off away from the screen. Sebastian would look over every now and then, catching Jim's eyes looking in his direction. He smirked. 

“Am I really that more interesting than the film?" Sebastian's head leant over, his voice just a whisper but Jim would be able to tell how smug the blond must of felt in that moment. 

Jim's cheeks were burning, he'd been caught and now was wearing the embarrassing sweet little grin as proof. 

“Stop it!" Jim protested, he could feel Sebastains eyes on him, his body tensed but he was still smiling. Neither of them concentrating on the film being shown in front of them, though that was rather the point. 

It seemed crazy, stupid even but when your gut is telling you one thing and your mind is telling you another it's hard to pick which one to listen to. It was like a screaming sound in his head, Sebastian wet his lips while taking a sip of his drink, did he really think this was the right time? 

Slowly, Sebastian's hand slips across the seat and placed upon Jim's knee, the brunette doesn't protest and for that he carries on. His thumb tracing small circles against Jim's leg, his movements are soft and for the first time Jim finds comfort in someone else's touch. 

He hates to rush this, this moment that seems to go so quiet and flowing but Sebastian's hand is already cupping his cheek, Jim's warm big brown eyes just staring back up at him. Sebastian can't seem to divert his gaze away from Jim's lips, he was sure the boy was going to bat him off anytime soon so he was definitely pleasantly surprised when Jim leaned in a little more. 

Their lips met, the kiss was tamed but the passion and heat behind it was definitely there. The boy whimpered, pulling himself even closer, Sebastian trying to guide them both, his lips tingling against Jim's in result. Sebastian never wanted to pull away. 

It was everything and more you want out of a first kiss with someone, the rush and excitement, the thrill of finally feeling the other against you. 

Moments pass but to both of them it seemed like hours, Jim diverts his gaze back to the screen while Sebastian is staring back fondly back at Jim, he didn't care if Jim were to turn round and spot him, he was proud to be in complete awe of the boy. They're both smiling but no words are spoken, there doesn't need to be any. They both knew. 

They both knew.

 

 

—

 

—

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are just going really, really great.

 

 

 

 

The lights came up and all you could see were the grinning little faces of both Sebastian and Jim, which probably looked a little odd to anyone else when in the cinema to see a horror film, but luckily there wasn't anyone else about really. 

Jim breaks the silence first, surprisingly. “That was nice.." 

The boy's voice seemed almost close to a whisper, Sebastian took a double take wondering if he heard correctly. Jim liked it? 

Sebastian stood, his eyes scanning over Jim's face to see if he was possibly joking or not. He wasn't. 

“Yeah, the film was incredible. Something that needs to be repeated.." Sebastian smirked, they both knew neither of them were on about the film, of course they weren't. Sebastian's body was aching already, already missing the feeling of Jim's lips against his own. It was becoming a craving, that's when things were going to get crazy to satisfy that craving. 

Jim joins Sebastian in standing to his feet, eyes locked with the blonds while his own small fingers curled around the others hand. A warm and strong grip, it made Jim feel safe. Feeling safe was all Jim ever wanted. 

No words or questions are spoken, Sebastian takes this act as a sign of Jim's decision already. 

They walk out of the cinema together in silence, though both of them are still grinning away, who knew all it would take for the two of them to smile would be a kiss. 

Who knew there'd be any kiss at all?

“I was thinking.." 

“Oh, you shouldn't do that." Sebastian teased with a little grin. Jim shot him a glare before rolling his eyes and carrying on. 

“It's your birthday tomorrow and I think we should do something." Jim was grinning, beaming in fact as he let his thought sit in the air for a bit before continuing. “Unless you already have plans..." 

Both of them knew Sebastian didn't have any plans, they'd spoken about it online about how they were going to spend the whole day together doing things, Sebastian couldn't think of a better present. 

“Where are you taking me then?" Sebastian smirked, the two of them stood on the edge of the road as Sebastain held out a hand to hail a cab. The destination was unclear where they were heading to but the blond just assumed they'd be heading back to his, especially after what Jim had said this morning, Sebastain hardly wanted to send Jim back to his class mates to be picked on. 

“Would you like me to buy you some pyjamas?" 

The question probably seemed out of the blue, if Jim hadn't already been having the same thoughts Sebastian had just been having on where they were heading to next. It was giving the small brunette a little window, giving him an opportunity decline or continue this evening. 

Jim remained silent for a moment, right up until a taxi pulled up in front of them and he was suddenly clutching onto Sebastian's hand. 

“I couldn't expect you to-" 

“Shh. Come on get in I know a nice little store." Sebastian opened up the door for Jim to step inside, slipping onto the seat next to him. He called out the address of the store and the cabbie was on his way. 

 

 

 

 

Sebastains flat was large and spacious, just right for a single man in the city. Jim's eyes looked around cautiously at everything, studying each little detail to get to know this Sebastain that was now in front of him. He'd decided that he wasn't much different, Jim could still tell he liked all the same things, same habits the blond had described. 

“Here!" Sebastain placed down all the take out menus he had, now that they were all presented like that on the table he couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed at the amount. Sebastian was a superb cook, even he knew that himself but when you're cooking for one it just seems pointless. 

Sebastian would love to cook for Jim, if he'd be allowed to.

Eyes scanned the menus, but it seemed obvious what Jim's choice was. 

“Pizza." The pair of them both spoke at the same time, they laughed as their eyes met. Chills. 

Wasting no time, Sebastain stood to his feet with his phone in hand getting ready to order. “A small one each or one to share?" 

A decision that seemed so simple was actually proving rather difficult. 

Jim stood, walking over to the shopping bag of things Sebastian had brought for him, including those pyjamas. “To share. And just cheese for me please." Jim smiles fondly, grabbing his pyjamas. 

If ever there was a smile that could sink a million ships, Sebastain was sure he'd just found it. His chest ached at the brunette, Jim really didn't know the hold he had on Sebastain at all. 

Whilst Sebastain was ordering their food Jim popped out the room and into Sebastain's bedroom to change. Of course Jim didn't know it was the blonds bedroom, he hadn't been given the grand tour yet but he didn't mind. Jim liked discovering things by himself. The pictures Sebastian had out particularly caught Jim's eye, especially that one of the blond in a military uniform with who he could only assume were his comrades and friends. Sebastian had spoke about wanting to join the army, of course when he thought the blond was eighteen and at the age for enrolment, Jim was scared Sebastian would sign up and leave him. It seemed funny now to think he'd already done it, thought in the war.. Wow. 

 

 

 

“You're such a snoop." Sebastian smirked, his tall and muscular figure stood in the doorway whilst leaning against the doorframe some what smugly. His arms were folded, his eyes couldn't help but wonder over Jim's bare chest as he'd been stood there holding onto his shirt as he looked at the pictures. 

Jim jumped, a small gasp even as he quickly pulled his pyjama top over his head, tugging it down as far as it could go. Baggy as always, even with the smallest men's size. Typical. 

Jim stuttered when he was nervous. “I..I I. I wasn't. I w-was just uh.." He awkwardly scratched the head of his head, biting down on his lip anxiously. 

“Reeelax! Jimmy boy it's fine, I have nothing to hide.. Now at least." Sebastian grazed over that quickly, standing to one side allowing Jim to pass. “Take a seat back in the living room, make yourself comfortable. I'm gunna slip into something more comfortable myself." 

Nodding in response, Jim wondered back into the lounge and took a seat, this time he stayed put and didn't start snooping. Not obviously anyway, his eyes still darted around the room just looking at various items, grinning even as he'd spot something that Sebastian had mentioned about before while they'd been chatting. 

It was crazy, a year of speaking and here they were. Well technically at least. He wasn't going to count Sebastian's trip to Ireland, he didn't know it was him it wasn't the same. 

“Pizza should be here soon" Sebastain called out as he rushed past, who Jim was sure was topless as he did. 

“Drink?" 

“What do you have?" Jim asked curiously, perhaps Sebastain would allow him to have some alcohol, all things considering. 

Sebastian returned with two cans of beer, with also a now clothed chest, which Jim found himself feeling disappointed at. Hm. “The birthday celebrations can start early. I got you here, that's all I could of asked for.." Sebastain laughs nervously as he sits, handing Jim his beer. 

Oh boy the soppy sentiment had begun. 

Rolling his eyes, Jim poked Sebastain in his chest for that comment, he didn't know what to do with himself with such thoughts from the blond. As if anyone could want his company.

They drank in silence for the next few moments, but it was nice, comfortable. There was also something warm about Sebastian, like Jim knew the blond could and would protect him if need be. It was a very, very nice feeling indeed. 

“Aha.. There see. Best delivery service in town!" Sebastain bounced up off his seat, grinning back fondly to Jim as he picked up the money to pay for it. 

Food and drink, new clothes and a warm place to stay, Sebastain had already been amazing, the best. Jim could feel his heart seeming to grow fond of having someone like that around for him, someone who'd truly look after and cares for him. Could it be so wrong to fall for guy some years older than himself if he could do all that? 

The smell of freshly cooked pizza came wofting through the door, Jim sat up a little and placed a cushion on his lap. 

“Smells good hm? Delicious. Here we are. Bon appetite" Sebastain muttered in a fairly awful Italian accent, it got a smile and chuckle from Jim he considered that worth it. 

Neither of them wasted any time in tucking in, both chewing happily together. Sebastain turned th TV on for a little background noise, even though he'd prefer to focus all his attention on Jim. 

“Thank you." 

Sebastain took a double take, shaking his head while grinning. “Don't be daft, it's just pizza." 

“No. I mean for everything you've done. Thank you." Jim wiped his mouth and hands with a napkin, reaching for his beer to shut himself up from saying anything else like that. 

“I feel like I haven't done enough for you. You really don't see what a remarkable boy you are do you?" Sebastain tilted his head to the side, he wiped his own hands before taking one of Jim's in his own, his thumb gently smoothing over his knuckles. “Not a thing I wouldn't do for you." Probably a foolish thing to say but Sebastain meant it nevertheless. He lifted Jim's hand up to his lips and pressed a small kiss to the back of it, so light Jim wasn't even sure if he'd ever felt something so soft. His heart was racing incredibly fast, suddenly not feeling so hungry anymore. 

The heat in the room was rising. 

Jim cleared his throat, turning away looking down to the ground as his cheek flushed. Now really wasn't the time to act like a silly little school kid with a crush. 

It was more than that though but it's exactly how Jim felt now. 

“The uh..the photo of you in your uniform.. When, when was that?" Jim's voice was shaky, timid and a little stuttery. Sebastain's eyes filled up with positive wonder, he was glad to know Jim was intrigued to know more about him. Any conversation was going to be difficult, but given how close they were, that they are..they might just be alright. 

“Ah.. That. With two other guys? Hm about ohhhh, seven years ago. It was my third year out there, both good guys. Benny and Sean." Jim could sense the tension as Sebastain mentioned their names, as much as the blond tried to cover it up. 

No response was given at this time, Jim remained silent with his hand stretched out for the blond to take. “I.." 

Sebastian squeezed Jim's hand, shaking his head as the brunette tried to speak. He knew Jim knew. “It's ok.. It was over quickly. Just the memories of seeing it with your own eyes, it's events that'll never leave you." Sebastian wasn't looking for sympathy or anything from Jim, but the brunette was going to give him his support anyway. It was the least he could do he thought. 

“They were my best friends, being with guys out on the front line, putting yourselves through that together..it bonds you for life. 12 men in our camp and only two survived a full tour. I did two, I was one of the lucky ones. Butttt, that was due to my skill too." It was Sebastian all over, couldn't say something too overly emotional without adding a joke at the end of it. Jim admired Sebastian, crazily, maybe even stupidly, but he did. 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps it was midnight, maybe even 1am but neither of them knew. There was no concept of time while the two of them had been doing a combination of talking, drinking and occasionally pretending to watch the television when silence had fallen upon them. Which wasn't as often as you'd think. 

Three, or four beers in and there was a lot more hand touching between them both, Jim also acting a lot more confident around Sebastain made them both at ease. 

That hadn't been the plan, to drink until Jim was ok with this whole situation, that wouldnt of been fair. No this was simply two guys both equally enjoying each other's company. 

“Come on you, you can't even keep your eyes open." Jim crossed his arms and pouted like a toddler as if he was about to be told off. “I'm not tired!" 

“So typical, you won't give in will you?" Sebastain chuckled, slowly trying to stand and steady himself on his feet. “Nope." Jim responded, popping the P to sound smug and even a little bit cocky too. 

A loud groan left from the back of Sebastains throat. “I thought you were a good boy." The blond had raised his brow some what suggestively at that. “Come on, to bed I'm knackered myself!" Jim poked out his tongue before snuggling further into the couch comfortably. “Make me." He giggled, though neither one seemed to care or notice what they were doing or saying and how it could be taken with the amount of alcohol they'd both consumed. 

Without thinking, or even any warning Sebastain hovered over Jim with his arms out, within seconds the blond was on Jim, tickling him as gently yet ticklishly as he could. The room erupted with the sound of Jim's laughter, Sebastain thought he had never heard such a wonderful sound. 

In that moment Jim had never felt such happiness rush through his body, Sebastian was truly something special.

 

 

—

 

 

—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating as a little Christmas treat I guess hehe.   
> I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update I'm terrible lately.   
> Thank you so much for reading.   
> Merry Christmas and a happy new year everyone! X


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